Trying again after miscarriage
Many couples suffer the loss of miscarriage but go on to have wonderful families. But how soon can you try again after you have miscarried? And what other things should you consider?
No one can tell you exactly how you should feel when you have miscarried. Coping with miscarriage is a huge and personal process, and hopefully one that you can at least share with your partner.
Miscarriage is not something which neccessarily means you are incapable of having children, and it is more common than you probably think it is. Happily, many couples go on to have one, two or more children after they have suffered the tragedy of miscarriage.
Are you ready to try again?
Many couples find that starting to try again for another child, is the most positive way to come out of suffering a miscarriage. It is important that this new pregnancy is not just a 'quick fix' and is regarded as preciously as any other, however.
Talk it through and make sure you are both ready for this step, as a previous loss can understandably make one or both of you feel the pressure is on to conceive again. Also, it will affect your confidence during another pregnancy, and it's important that you both feel you can express your fears about the health of a new fetus and then of the baby when it arrives.
It is not at all unusual to have these fears (or even dreams), but being able to voice them to each other (as well as to either friends or to others here on the ThinkBaby forum) will make your experience a much happier future pregnancy.
Recovering from a miscarriage first
Before you can think about trying again, you need to allow your body to recover.
Bleeding usually stops within a week (if it does not, you should go back to your doctor or surgery). But you may also feel exhausted for a few days.
Depending on whether you had a spontaneous miscarriage or had to have treatment (a Dilation and Curettage, for example) to complete the process at hospital, your body's natural hormone levels may take about a month to six weeks to return to normal.
Your periods may return as soon as 28 days after your miscarriage, as ovulation can occur after two weeks. However, this again will vary (it might return more quickly when you have had a D&C). Your cycle usually returns within a month to six weeks, but might take a couple of cycles to settle back to your regular routine.
Having sex again
It is important not to have sex too soon. That is, not until the bleeding has stopped, as you are still recovering and intercourse could cause an infection.
Even before you see your next period, you should use contraception. There is no delayed time when your body 'thinks' it is still pregnant; you are now fertile again.
How long should you wait before trying to get pregnant again?
Many miscarriages occur randomly, but do talk to your GP or the consultant who treated you, about any possible concerns regarding your ongoing risk of having another miscarriage. (Any possible causes which can be ruled out or addressed, for example.)
It is possible to get pregnant straight away, though you will probably be far from mentally or physically ready for this.
Waiting until your first period has come and gone (a month to six weeks) will help your GP arrive at a more accurate due date should you conceive again straight away.
Many health experts working in this field suggest waiting three to six months to enable your body and you (both) to prepare for the most positive experience next time round.
Use those months to build yourself back up, continuing with folic acid supplements and eating well.
Even if you got pregnant 'by accident' or very quickly last time, do not worry if you do not get pregnant straight away when you start trying again. In any given month, a couple with no potential fertility problems and who are having regular sex, only have a 30 per cent chance of getting pregnant. Your miscarriage will not have affected how long it takes for you to conceive, unless there is some other medical reason.
Fear that you will miscarry again
Couples who have no history of miscarriage or who's last child was live born, have an 80 to 85 per cent chance of a successful pregnancy. Those who have suffered one miscarriage also have an 80 per cent chance of a successful pregnancy.
If you have had two miscarriages, there is a slightly greater risk (72 per cent), and if you have had three miscarriages, your chances may be less than 50 per cent.
However, after repeated episodes, your doctor will investigate possible causes and these may well be easily addressed.
It is important to know that many couples who have suffered several losses go on to have healthy children.
The Miscarriage Association have valuable advice available on their website, where you can print off the leaflet: Preparing for Another Pregnancy.
Discuss this story
Lisa,
sorry to hear of your sad news...I had a complete miscarriage too on the 23rd November, and bleeding only lasted 3 days or so, I didnt have a period, but started to feel 'funny' again in December so did a test and it was positive. Had an early scan to make sure that it wasn't a false positive due to the m/c, but it wasn't - basically they have calculated my conception date to the 28th November (which may mot be exact as no period) The hospital advised me that after a m/c you are extra fertile, and conceiving straight after a m/c will have no impact on this pregnancy at all. Everyone gives you so much different advice, but you have to do what feels right for you, maybe I was just lucky, who knows, but I thought I'd let you know that it can work (i wasn't expecting to conceive straight away, so maybe the 'no pressure' helped!
Lots of luck and keep me posted, Natasha xxx
Posted: 16/01/2007 16:02
Hi Tracey Sorry to rear you have had 4 miscarriages. I am on my forth one at the moment. It hasn't come away yet and I am waiting for this to happen naturally this time. (the 3rd I had a D&C). I am a bit scared to go ahead with the op this time bacause I have previously had a myomectomy, my womb is heart shaped and also on its side, so a bit wary of blind surgery again. So encouranging to hear you are pregnant again and reached 8 weeks ( I haven't got up to 8 yet). I hope it all goes well for you and you are much further along in your pregnancy. Good luck. Anitax
Posted: 14/11/2007 14:53
Hi Karen, thanks for your reply. I don't know how you may be feeling but I haven't really been feeling a sense of loss. I just wanted to pick myself up and start again - straight away, sounds a bit cold doesn't it? I have started taking my bbt's again and bought myself a mini microscpoe to check for saliva ferning (maybe getting a bit obsessive?). Although nothing is making any sense yet i.e. temperatures etc. I suppose hormone levels are a bit strange still. Any way, well done you! 6 kids already and hopefully on the way to number 7 I just have the one so far, wishing I'd never left it so late. Good luck to you and your family.xxxxxx
Posted: 05/10/2008 16:46
hi cherokee i had a miscarriage on the 15 may so its been 5 months since but after i had the baby removed obviously i was bleeding and i bled for 3 weeks but i was 16 week gone i think it depends on how far your pregnancy had progressed to how long you bleed after because the previous baby i lost i only carried it 8wk and bled for 1wk. if you get 2worried then i guess you should see ur doc let me know the outcome love and best wishes Rachel x
Posted: 07/10/2008 16:52
Hi cherokee i started to miscarry on the 6th of sept this yr i was 10 1/2 wks pregnant and i have been bleedin near enough the whole time since with the odd day wen i had nothing however in these 5 wks i think i hav had my period as the bleedin did get heavier wen i should have been on. i think everyone is different with how long they bleed for. if u r worried tho go to doctors as depending on whethere you hav a natural m/c there may still b tissue left inside you. The NHS is shit in my eyes they made this ordeal so much worse then it had to be and for me it is still goin on.... i am still gettin +ive test results and havin to have blood tests every week to see if my hormone levels r goin down!!!! I hop[e that helps put your mind at rest a bit x
Posted: 13/10/2008 13:44
hi all i too had a mc, but mine was not detected til my 12 week scan, baby died at 7 weeks. my 1st period arrived about 4 weeks after, i had a D&C. i fell pg agin in march for only 24 hrs (chemical pg) and i have found out today i am pg again. love too you all, and there is light at the end of the tunnel. xxxx
Posted: 13/10/2008 20:08
hi KitKat, I did go to docs after my last post, and yes there was still tissue left inside which had caused an infection, which is why i was feeling so ill too. They put me on a course of 2 different types of antibiotics which has now cleared the infection, so im good now. You're right about the NHS being shit. They had very little sympathy for what I was going through and refused to scan me so many times. If I hadn't have insisted I may still be going through the trauma! Get a scan and see what's really going on. Have you had a d&c?
Posted: 15/10/2008 13:13
hi cherokee i had a natural mc which now lookin back after 5 wks of bleeding prob wasnt the best thing for me but nhs dint even offer me a d and c!!! got to do another urine test at home on fri ( my 5th one since m/c that hav to pay for) and if still neg gonna DEMAND a scan and if anything left a d and c as im fed up of bleedin and jus want to get back to my normal body amd start tryin again
Posted: 15/10/2008 15:35
Kitkat, I know exactly how you feel. Im still bleeding on and off now, so not continuous like before. Like you i'm sick of bleeding and want to get back to normal so we can start trying again. My immune system has taken a bit of a knock too. i've not felt right since the miscarriage and im really fed up! Nhs have been so shit with everything. No support, no guidance, no offer of counselling. You demand what you need and dont back down. let me know how u get on. x
Posted: 20/10/2008 11:02
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