Help, not sleeping

Hi, I have a 6 month old little girl who I cannot get to settle at night. I'm really at my whits end. My problem is that when I put her down to sleep (and she is tired) she rolls about her cot, trying to sit up and pull herself up the sides. She will do this for hours. I just can't settle her. I have a routine, bath, story, milk, cuddle then bed but as soon as she goes down the eyes open and she is up and moving. Last night I put her in her travel cot as she keeps getting stuck in her cot. I was still up at 12.30am when she finally dropped off to sleep. I was up two or three times through the night as she wouldnt settle, she rolls and moves around her cot I woke up to find her head under the covers that were all tucked into the mattress, I just don't know how to keep her from wriggling so much. She doesn't sleep much through the day and when she does its in her car seat, pram or after a feed. I ended up taking her into bed with me, which I really don't want to do, but then she sleeps all night! Help? Anyone else going through the same?

MrsJ

Hi I'm not a mother yet been trying for 20 months but have young brothers and a sister. I read in a mag that if you put a hot water bottle in her cot to warm it up before you put her down for the night she will sleep better, it may be that the cot is to cold for her when you but her to bed and that wakes her up and the wriggling could be her trying to warm it up just a thought really hope this is of use to you hope it helps good luck.

Hi Shelagh,
You might want to read another thread on the Baby forum where 2 of us have been having problems getting our little ones to sleep too, so at least you know your'e not the only one. The only thing i can suggest is a baby sleeping bag so you don't need to worry about covers and her getting tangled up as it will move with her when she wiggles - the other thing is putting her in her own room with a black out blind - try and do that with at least one of her daytime naps too, as it helped with Tara.
The other thing is if you have to go to her in the night, no eye contact or talking. I found that being firm with Tara and repeating the same thing every night has improved. She is now settling herself at 20.00 pm with me in the room putting her dummy back in, even when she is crying - she eventually does a big sigh, gives in and goes to sleep - took me an hour to start with -have got it down to 10 mins now. i don't pick up her up, just keep putting the dummy in, and she can see me but i am not talking or giving eye contact.
I think with Tara is that she understands it is bed time but doesn't want to sleep without me, but because i am in the room she eventually relaxes and goes to sleep - once she is asleep that is her until 07.00 am.
I understand how frustating it is as you need a rest too - it is hard work having them all day and you need a break.
I couldn't do controlled crying, and i read Gina Fords contented baby book, some bits i found useful, but others just didn't work, but i think a bit of tough love will hopefully get the results you and she deserve - your daughter a nice sleep, and you a break in the evening and an undisturbed night of sleep.
Good luck with it Shelagh and let us know how you get on.
Mads N Tara xxxx

Hi there maddie t. Thank you for your advice. I use baby sleep bags but for a while there she wouldn't settle in one, so I resorted to just sheets and that worked for a little while. She has just learned how to sit up herself and has been practicing pulling herself up on the side of her cot. Now she is doing this whenever she can even when I put her down to sleep. She did the same thing when she first learned to roll over and I'm just wondering if that has a connection with her not settling in her cot. I might stop putting her in her cot to play too as maybe she is associating her cot with play. Tonight has went well. I have bathed hannah and she had her story time. She then fell asleep once she finished her milk but as usual she wakes up and wants to do things once i put her in her cot. So after about an hour of her carry on I lifted her and soothed her to sleep in my arms. Seems to have done the trick, although she did wriggle a bit when I put her in her cot but I just gave her some calgel and she rolled over and went to sleep has been since about 9.30pm. So heres hoping she sleeps most of the night. It is really hard as I don't want to have to cradle her to sleep espacially not when she is about 3yrs old! Its so funny though, you think you have them sussed and then BANG everything you think you knew goes right out of the window! Thanks again for your advice.

MrsJ

Hi Shelagh,
Its really hard isn't it - you don't as you say want to have to cuddle or rock them to sleep but its really hard not to when you want her to go to sleep and they are being difficult to settle. I am glad you had a better night of it and i hope she slept through for you. She sounds really forward that she is sitting up herself and pulling herself up the cot - you could be right that she is playing at night because she has been doing it in the day - it might be worth using her travel cot as a playpen during the day so that she knows that her cot is for bedtime - does she has a cot bed or a cot? I brought a cot bed for Tara as i remember with Ryan that he hated bashing the sides of the cot with his arms and that used to wake him up, we then changed him to a cot bed and he used to sleep soundly.
I know what you mean when you get pleased as punch when you get it right, and then the next night it doesn't work - can be frustrating - oh the joys of babies!!!!!
Maddie N Tara xxx

Hi Maddie, well Hannah slept right through, I didn't as I kept thinking she was going to wake so I kept waking everytime I heard her move. She slpet from 9.45pm to 8am this morning. Can't think what I done differently but I will be doing the same as what i done last night tonight! Hopefully it works as I am up early for work tomorow. I do have a travel cot so am going to use that for play and her cot for sleep see if that helps. Also put her in her sleep bag the only real differance last night was I held and soothed her until she was asleep then put her down once I knew she was in a deeper sleep. Yep the joy of babies! lol

MrsJ

Well done Shelagh - may it long continue - i had a good night today too - Tara had her milk and went straight down after a cuddle - she was asleep though so was defeating the object but she hasn't woken up which she normally would do - just don't tell anyone that i slipped a pint in her milk!!!! Hee Hee! Only kidding!
Madddie N Tara ( zzzzzzz....)

Just got hannah to sleep. she just wants to play ALL the time! I don't know about anyone else but I really am feeling totally useless at being a mother. I'm finding it very tough. Just have no time to do anything just now, she needs my attention all the time. My house looks like a bomb has hit it, havent done any washing all weekend and goodness knows when i last hoovered. i look terrible and all I do is argue with my hubby. Things are not good. Just cant relax and night time is the worst. She has finally crashed without the medised! feeling hopeless, crabit, exhausted, just could run away and hide. Sorry for the moan, but Ive moaned my hubby silly. cant believe he hasnt flung me out yet.

Mrsj

Hi Shelagh, dont beat yourself up - motherhood is hard work and most mothers are far too competitive about how good their babies are - if most are honest the sleep issue is a big one for everyone and not all of us believe in 'training' in the Gina Ford way - have a read of Attachment Parenting by William Sears and you might find some better advice. My LO is now 4 months and does sleep a bit better but still wakes up throughout the night (maybe because I'm BF still though) and wont go down by herself, but with the progress we've made since birth by following the AP methods I'm going to stick with it. I think we have to stop thinking of fitting them into our routines and accommodate their routines a bit more and hey forget the housework, its no way near as important as this time with them. Mine is so alert she needs my attention all the time too but now I just enjoy it more as I know in a short while it will all change.

Hi Shelagh,
You are def not a useless mother! From what i have read from all your posts you are very caring, and deeply love Hannah - that is what makes a good mummy!
Tara is still a pain for me too - she has now started waking at 3/4 am wanting to play and def doesn't want to sleep, it took me an hour and a half to get her settled tonight and she is still figeting now - i like you am trying to keep it all together and be the perfect mum and wife - no -one is super human but that is why God made women have children, as the men couldn't handle it!!!
Like Hannah, Tara is constantly on the go most of the day and is chewing everything and growling because of her teeth and is throwing wobblers at the slightest things.
I am dreading going back to work in September as she is so demanding but i know that i will get through it, i have arguments with my hubby as he thinks job is done when he gets home but he has got better, it has helped as we make time to do things together once a month i.e film, dinner, or a long walk etc whilst Nanny babysits - we also get a chance to have a proper talk without kids interrupting.
Its really hard coping with everything and there is no manual that we get given with all the magic answers - we have to find our own way and be flexible as what works one time might not work the next as we both know!
Sorry for rambling, but sending you lots of hugs, sod the housework and remember if she is this bright now, goodness knows what she will achieve when she is older!!!!!
Mads N Tara xxxxxx
PS - Don't worry about moaning - that is what we're all here for!!!

hi there, i'm pretty new to this forum stuff but also at wits end and feel like i am going to explode. i have an almost 10 month old boy who is delightful during the day, plays by himself, sleeps, sometimes with a bit of a fuss, but has hi naps and mos of the time is a good eater. but when it comes to night time it is completely different, he turns into this monster. i just don't know what to do. he went for a week of sleeping through but now he wakes up at 3 every morning and wants to play for about an hour and then just starts to scream and i mean really scream. i don't know what i am doing wrong. is he hungry? is he just not tired? i just don't know anymore. please can anyone give me advice, please

bronwen