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How to set boundaries for a baby!

10 messages
27/08/2009 at 22:25

Hi all,

Im sure there are plenty of you mums in a similar predicament as myself so thought I would start a thread. Would be great to get some views.

My daughter is going to be 8 months on the 5th of September. She has been pulling herself up the last few weeks and more recently cruising about the furniture. She gets into absolutely everything!! Which got me thinking what is the best way to try and teach a baby right from wrong?

She also likes to pinch me and scratch and pull my hair when she is getting tired or when I am feeding her (she is breastfed)  and this can be very painful and irritating.

And to add to it all she is also going through her clingy stage where she hates me leaving the room and at times wants to be cuddles constantly!

Any ideas? 

xx

28/08/2009 at 16:20

Hi Jen, umm thats a tough one, my little girl is 6 months and pulls herself a long the ground comando style when she gets into something I don't want her to I just remove her and put her somewhere else this was recommended by my Freind who is a nursery nurse and au pair she says at this young age babies don't know language skills very well but will be aware of actions and eventually give up,  distractons are your best tool in teaching her, I keep a pile of toys by me and wheni Freyas on the move in the wrong direction I wave one and (sometimes!) she will change tact and come to the toy.

I sympathise with the pinching etc its a  favourite pass time of Freya who is bottle fed now but still does it try putting something in her hands when you feed her, just a bit of muslin cloth or a favourite soft toy it works for me and she is doing it less after a few weeks! she has begun to associate this 'tissy' with being comforted and I can put her down with it in her cot and she'll lie stroking it till she nods off

Carla may is exploring this new world and eventually she will get fed up of being moved away from wires fires etc etc, just think of the exercize you will get as well, I can't wait Im hoping for a size 8!!  Im sure she will get over the clingy stage soon too,  no matter how much you time and attention you give a baby she will always want more, you're mummy of course she wants cuddles but she needs to be able to explore and enjoy her new found freedom of movement happily and safetly on her own sometimes!

I really hope this helps in any way it can be so frustrating like you say, I just keep in mind it is a phase and will pass eventually if I get worried or stressed about it then it will become an issue so I (try very hard!!) to forget about it.

take care hope something works, love Vicky and Freya xxx

29/08/2009 at 13:51
Jen, all kids go thro that anoying clingy stage, it happens again when they are about 2ish!! My almost 2 yo has started to pinch too, but obviously being a little older she can be told "NO" when she does it to the others she gets her fingers tapped also, even as young as your baby is, she can still be told no and if shes doing it to you while you are feeding i would remove her from me, tell her no and wait a few moments, you might have to repeat a few times but she WILL get the message!! I disagree with children not being able to understand things at a young age, not true!!! they understand FAR FAR more than we give them credit for, I watched a documentary about teaching 6month olds a very simple sign language so they could let you know what they wanted - let me tell you - IT WORKS!!!! i did it with my last two, they could both let me know, drink/milk, food, poo'd/dirty nappy and tired and it only took me a couple months, they are like sponges and absorb loads when they are little!!!! As freya says, it is just a phase, but you can help make it a short one!!! good luck xxxxxxxxxx
29/08/2009 at 19:09
lol!! Freya does understand Karen but I think she's a little young to be giving advice!!! lol Im vicky Freyas my little girl! xxxx
29/08/2009 at 19:42

Hi Jen,

Kayleigh is 10 months and is now well on the way with crusing standing etc so i've now got no stuck on my brain  We find that if she's doing something she shouldn't be (which is quite often as she's a little monkey!) i say to her Kayleigh no twice at the most then i get up and move her away. She normally goes back but then we start again. I'll admit it did take a little time but she does understand what we're saying to her and now if you say no she stops whats she's doing. I learnt very quick that she's a smart little lady that has her own stubborness that she likes to try out every now and again  Take comfort in what everyone has said that it is just a stage and will past but i know how much hard work it can be.

Paula

30/08/2009 at 10:55
LMAO!!! sorry vicky - preggy brain!!! xxxxx
30/08/2009 at 15:35
I have a question ladies, my son is 10 months and has started to throw things! is this just a phase he's going through or do i need to start the 'no' thing? lol i think its my fault really as me and OH started to throw soft toys at him cos it makes him giggle but hes started picking stuff up and launching it at us! if anyones got any ideas i'd be greatful xxx
30/08/2009 at 18:24

Hi Tara,

How's the last few weeks of pregnancy going?

No real help on the post other than saying Kayleigh is going through the same stage! My mum suggested to stop picking up what they are throwing as they think its become a game and this (touch wood) is having the right effect as less things are being thrown though i'm not sure if its that working or the end of her phase of launching things!

Paula

30/08/2009 at 21:43

Hi everyone

I used to have a problem with Ryan touching my video and dvd player  all the time and what i would do is say No mummy's video and move him, 2nd time i would say it again and on the 3rd time i would tap his hand and move him. After that i would just move him without saying a thing to him. After a few weeks he stopped doing it. Now he can stand he pulls himself up on the tv all the time so again i did the same thing and today his onlydone it twice but that was when my OH was watching him. So i belive if u do the same thing over and over again they learn to stop doing it. It takes them a while as they learning so many new things each day but theydo get there.

Tara - With the throwing the toys i would just stop picking them up and take no notice when he does it, they he should get bored of it.

JEN - Ryan would like to try and bit eus when teething so what i did was say no biting mummy we have kisses and it works, when teething he goes to bite and i say this and he stops, sadly he bites my OH as he never catchs him b4 he does it lol So with the hair pulling try saying the same, like no mummys hair yr hurt me and let her maybe stroke yr hair or hold yr arm instead.

Ryan is also very clingy to me, so when i leave a room i ALWAYS carrying on talking so he can hear me ever if he cant see me and i play peak a boo so his used to me going. Ryan is now better if i walk out of a room but on a bad day i cant do that, so now i turn it around and say lets help mummy do jobs and make him sit in my washing pile while i fold it etc which he likes doing.

Im not sure i haev helped but i thought id tell u what i do and i really hope yr daughter stops pulling yr hair. 

04/09/2009 at 18:35
Hi Paula, ooh its dragging lol Hows you and Kayleigh?

He's still throwing, even though i ignore what he throws and when hes not watching, then i pick it up! but hes started to randomly slap me, pinch me and scratch me, especially on my face, and he only does this to me i dont respond at all i just ignore and move his hands away but its when i move his hands away he throws a paddy and digs his nails into my face! really not sure how to deal with this as i no if i react he'll do it more but i cant not react when hes scratching my skin off!

thanks susan, i am following your advice hun working a little as he only seems to throw things he doesnt want off the side of his walker now insted of picking everything up and automatically launching it across a room xxxx
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