Sleep & Routine Probs HELP !!

im from the feb 09 thread but actually had my lil boy on 23rd jan. Im actually looking for some advice and hoping you's can help.

My lil boy is 25 weeks and will be 6 months next thursday, his cot is in my room as we dont have the room to move him into his own room. 

my problems are he wont sleep all night in his own cot, he wont got to sleep on his own he has to be cuddled in then out down he will then sleep in his cot for a few hours on his own til he realises he is in on his own then he wont settle back in there it will take over an hour to get him back to sleep then will wake up as soon as he is put in his cot so it ends up i just bring him in the bed with me (which i know is wrong). I also cant seem to get him into a routine - i thought i was doing well he would wake up about 8/9ish which is when he would get his bottle and sometimes i would give him some breakfast, it was then meaning that his last bottle wasnt til 8/9 at night so he wasnt going to bed until about 10ish which i know is late. With him coming up to 6 months i would really like to get a routine sorted so if there is any advice it would be very much appreciated 

Thanx Claire xx

Hi Claire - i know how you feel - my boy (now just 2) was the same -we only had the one room so he ws in with us and had to be rocked or cuddled to sleep and wouldn't settle on his own. he didn't start sleeping through til he was over a year and only last month when we moved did he get his own room - that wasn't what the problem was so don't think that that's what is wrong. 

i 'm no expert but here are a few things we tried which seemd to help!!!

i wouldn't worry about the times of your routine - if you and your partner if you have one are normnally late going to bed and getting up then you lo will be too. it doesn't matter really what time it is as long as theya re getting enough sleep - from 10 til 8 or 9 is 10/11 hours and this is probably fine. if you want him to go to bed earlier try missing a nap in the afternoon and putting him down earlier in bed or just gradually shifting everything forward  -do each feed/nap etc at 15 mins before normal and keep doing this for a few days. it might take a wee while to settle into this but he may take to it straight away and surprise you!

 have you though he might eb hungry? does he have anything other than milk or breakfast? if he is nearly 6 months it's likely he wants more than this- try giving him some pureed fruit/veg or porridge/rice for 'dinner' an hour before his last feed. this might fill him up and help him settle better??

also i would suggest being super strict with yourself over his bedtime - decide what time his bottle is, get him changed (baths help although i know it's hard to bath them everyday)  and do it exactly the same every day -give him a teddy or dummy of you use one or comforter etc andjust puthim in his cot and say goodnight.  it won't work at first and he will prob cry to be comforted again but give it a few mins before you go into settle him. firsttime pick him up and do what you did befoer again - give him a cuddle, gie him a teddy etc and put him down and say goodnight. again leave it a few mins - (trust me i know how hard it is when they cry and a few mins seems like forever but don't just wait-  make yourself a cup of tea and pick up a magazine etc - the few mins goes quicker and he may stop crying before you realise.) next time don't pick him up but just say gooodnight  and make sure he has teddy or whatever. 

 -check he hasn't wind etc or is teething cos we found these problems made it took longer to settle him than it might have - 

this is my version of the controlled crying you hear about - which i think is always too harsh. i think it helps if you can be lees tired to deal with it at night so if anyone can watch him for an hour or 2 in the day so you can get a nap too - or even lie down whne he naps in the day - then you aren't so desperate for sleep yourself and won't give in to quickly and pick him up and take him in with you. don't let yourself give in anymore - really hard but after the frist couple of nigths when he stays in his cot he will know and then it's so much easier for you. it was about 7 months before my boy learned to settle himself but would still often have days when it didn't happen for months after that. to eb honest 6 months is early for some babies it takes ages -they are all different of course! 

be strong and it will get better i promise - !!

sorry -lots of waffle, hope some fo it helps and good luck!!

Zo, xx

hi claire,

i got myself into a bad rountine with liam he would wake up about 4am ish and i would get him out and put him into bed with us and he'd go back down till 8ish.

when i put him into his own room at 6 months it wasnt so easy as i had to get up and go get him and in the end my boyfriend said enoughs enough liams not allowed in the bed. a friend reccommended to me putting liam on cow and gate good night milk for his last bottle.  the first night it worked and then everyone up until now i think very highly of that milk, maybe its worth a try babba has to be 6 months for it thou.

good luck luv vicky and liamxxx

Hi Claire

ahh poor you tyler has never liked sleeping on his own has he!!!

What zo says is bang on with most babies, shes said it all really, as harsh as this is going to sound he isn't going to get any better at sleeping on his own if he knows eventually you will give in and he can have cuddles with mummy all night, which is what all babies would love, of course they would!! 

Freya was like this when she was very small and after talking to the MW she said of course she's waking up she's hungry!! so we fed her formula at night and she went through from 8 weeks!! you said he sometimes has breakfast? if he's going to be weaned its something he needs everyday, a babies reserves of minerals especially iron are deplited by 6months so they need food as well as milk.

we had to start bathing Freya everyday to get her in a routine and it does work, I was a bit sceptical but bath bottle bed really does work, she gets 2 visits if shes crying to check for extra wind etc and now she's teething its a bit more of a struggle but persevere and she gives in, it really is a battle of wills!!

we've also got a cot book in her cot that if she does stir she sees it and it keeps her attention till she drifts off again,

babies are such a mystry when we had all that sun she was just in her baby grow but waking up in the night cold?!? it was 25 degrees but her hands were freezing so like her dad she feels the cold!!

hope something we've said helps, I had to write down the routine to make sure we sticked to it for the first week or so and gradually it really works. let us know how it goes hun speak soon xxxx