I know how it feels to wonder what is going on in your kids head or why they appear so diferent and all you want is for them to be happy and well. I went through 9 years of ups and downs searching tirelessly for any strand of information that could help and all I could have done with is one website, one single one where all the info I needed and people to talk to and ask help from was there in front of me on the internet. I now want to give that to others but you need to let me know what you actually want, the topics, the issues etc. Please let me know by doing the below! So here goes:
just wondering how you are doing? How are you feeling and are the family ready for the new arrival? Hope all is going well and that things are settled for you.
I wish you well.x
well congratualtions on newborn and Josh is turning out great then. I'm so glad he is fine with the little one as it can be a quite a worry as you never know what will happen. shame you dnt have the net though but I guess with your neewborn you will be busy with the setling in period so take it easy and remember no-one needs to be perfect and a house doesn't need to be spotless.
all the best and we shall catch up when you are available and if thats in a few months then that's fine with me hunny.
You take care
hiya rachel - ive got the net now.
josh as bn brilliant lately - hes now out of special unit - hes in mainstream class now every mon n fri.he obviously has his days - 2day hes been a cow.sooo naughty,cheeky,awkward,stubborn.... hes had a bad day.its cos he had orange pop yesterday - i never giv it 2 him...but we were in a chipshop gettin chips,the only pop they had was lucozade,coke and orangeade...so it seemed best option.so ive paid 4 it 2day - hes been a maniac!!! never mind - cant have good days every day can we?
how ru and kaine?
Ahh well hopefully he will have a better day tomorow! I can't give Kaine orange or blue smarties as it has the same effect and fizzy pop is a no no unless it's a special occasion. Kaine has got worse-his behaviour and aggression are just horrid. we were rejected for his statement last week and even the educational psychologist can't believe it so we are appealing and today his support worker from social services(we were told she was social worker and later found out she isn't!) has had orders off her manager to close our case! Right now I want to kill someone (sorry). I am tired off fighting for my sons needs which should be basic. They said he needed x y n z and haven't provided any of these so for them to say case closed is dispicable, I do agree that the worker we have has done all she can do but the issues aren't resolved! So this is yet another fight we have to go through as well as the day to daydelaings of our son!
I'm glad Josh is at mainstream school, I bet he loves it. You seem abit more upbeat which is always a good thing. I am glad your on the net, here's my addy if you want it
cheerio n chin up hunny.
Kaine sees his psychaitrist every 3 months n I can speak to him on the phone when things get ugly. His first psych left last yr and then the second came for a few months and this psych has been around since jan and he seems a lot better. we have done FET training which is for parents of adhd children and i have done a fair few parenting courses too. The manager of the social services sat in a meeting with us in march 07 and said kaine needs anger management, counseliing and he is suffering from attachtment disorder and guess what-they haven't done any. when we asked about direct payments so we could get a counsellor for him the cheeky woman said oh the panel won't even consider direct payments until you have had counselling-I am mean me! I did one session n all i did was moan about how annoyed i wa at them for not providing what thye said he needed-the session i had was in sept 07-months after the first multi agency meeting!
I mentioned it in the second meeting in oct 07 and it was well he is doing alot better-yeah he was kicking the crap out of me daily but it was still bad. we asked about respite and got laughed at. It has just been a nightmare and then when the manager found out i had gone over her head and said i was complaining i got an apology as the social worker we had hadnt done her job properly and thats when she said she still wanted to help us and offered us this worker-who she implied had worked for 2 years with the child and mental health service (camhs). we found out she wasnt going to do all the stuff the previous social worker had said she would have done if we had not got rid of her but it turns out its all been hot air and cos its not been written down they are saying they have done all they can and want to close.
I mean what do you do when they won't or can't help-you don't just say see you there is the door, have a nice life. so I told the worker well we will see you in a month cos all i will do is ring up social serices again and ask for help and we shall yet again for the thrid time since he was 5 go through the same thing!!
I am so mad I could have got really angry with her but i know its not the workers fault and we have asked to make a meeting with the manager about 2 months ago as we were due one in march and that has never happened.
I hope today is a good day with josh and that the weather is as nice here as it is there.
Cheerio and keep me updated on how you are doing.
hiya rachel i cant believe how shit they r. u must b so depressed.wat medication is kaine on?cos josh as tried loads as sum of them made him worse - especially the concerta ones.he was like an animal.the best ones r the medekinet,josh is much calmer on them.he was a bastard this morn.i had such a headache,baby got a cough so i cancelled the appointment n sent him2 school.i was in such a fluster wiv him,i didnt want him wiv me 4 a second longer,let alone in my car wen im tryin 2 drive...he plays hell in the car.im like a bag of nervs drivin.so i found it easier 2 cancel n send him 2 school.feel much better 4 it! its awful that i think that way.but wen he is bad,hes the horriblest kid i know.wen hes good,hes my best friend,adorable.theres never an in between! i hav told him if he comes home in a good mood,he can hav internet time.he luvs the net.hes obsessed wiv police.he just searches 4 everythin 2 do with SWAT n police lol!
gonna hav a bath now while chesters asleep.
where u live?what meds is kaine on?how old is he?
U pooor thing, you've had a really rough day. I hope you enjoyed your bath and you don't sound awful I would have cancelled too!!
yep definatley no inbetween its like angel or devil-no normal!!
He has tried different doses of Ritalin and he takes Risperidone/Risperdall for his anger issus. He takes 20 Equasym XL and a 0.05mg of Ripserdone at about 7.15am and then another of the Equasym at 8.30am. He then takes 10 mg Methylphinadate at school at 12.15pm and then another one of these at 3.45pm. he then has another of the Risperidone at 7pm. We tried the instant release ritalin but they were not as effective so we went for a slow release one in the end and this works better.
We have tried different types but his medicine is now fine which is good-it only took us 4 yrs to sort it lol
I live in Bridlington, East Yorkshire. My son is 9, 10 in July.
I spent 2 hours on the phone this afternoon battling with the manager of our social services-outcome still useless but we are taking the matter to the next level. I won't quit even when they do!!
Hope the evening went better and that you are more relaxed.
i didnt know there was medication 4 anger.as i was readin ur post,jayden my 6yr old was callin me from his bedroom - josh was waking him up when he was asleep - he was doin noises in jaydens ear.wat a lil sod! i gave him a row and he did a horrible look at me n did his noises again.does kaine always do noises? really annoyin 1s.im sick of it.it drives me up the flaming wall!
he came in from school today sayin theyve removed him from mainstream classes.im gutted,i thought he was doin well,but he spat in a girls face yesterday cos she walked past him n her bag hit him.hes insistin she did it on purpose.cos the headteacher didnt believe him,he started cheekin him n arguin wiv him.then 2day josh said a kid called peter kept callin him goofy.he didnt lose his temper n went 2 report it 2 headteacher,but HT said he dont believe him n took his playtimes off him.im livid.josh is so upset as he was enjoyin mainstream,it made him feel 'normal'. it looks like the HT is pickin on him.so im goin up the school 2moro 2 ask wats goin on.cos even the teacher of the mainstream class said hes bn excellent.
hes 10.so hes kaines age.i hate goin up the school.i always dread it.
i was thinkin earlier of all the shit mothers n druggy mothers - all the help they get from social services.then theres us - good mothers with real concern 4 our sons who need help 4 somethin they cannot control - we get nothing.its bad isnt it.
i put them in 2 bed at 8.30pm.they share a bedroom.josh really needs his own bedroom.im private renting.i put my name down wiv a housin assosiation 4 a 3bed house.(im currently rentin a 2bed bungalow).ive told them ive now got another child and they said my points r still the same.just 25points.i need 125 points 4 them 2 consider me!! so poor jayden as 2 be disturbed by josh every nite.josh wakes him up,pulls his duvet off him,makes noises etc.also josh needs space and privacy.i think hes goin thru puberty early.he got a slight mustache!!! he also has 2 baths a day cos he sweats.hes only 10.the baby is in my room wiv me n my partner.he works.we pay rent.but the druggy mothers get a house wiv a click of their fingers!
right im gonna make up chesters bottles now then go 2 bed im shattered!
I agree with you about others getting stuff, I worked for the jobcentre for 4 yrs and saw this alot and there I was struggling to cope. I am not sure if I have mentioned this but I will anyway-Parent Partnership are an independant government body that are for parents of disabled children-your son is classed as disabled and I am hoping you are claiming DLA-you get this even if you work-you have a million quid and you can still get it. The form is awful and the form is lengthy and tedious but you only have to renew every two yrs. You right stuff down like its the worse day you have ever had, without any meds. You have to tell them like it really is and make it sound like it really is-no nicy nicy stuff.
oops I side tracked there! right parent partnership will help you will school and joshs needs, they can go into school with you and be your right hand man so to speak. They know the rules and regs so they won't let school fob you off even on minor things. I am also asuming he has a Statement too. I am sorry if I am repeated myself-Iseem to be saying the same stuff to all the people that contact me for help as they are at their wits end and don't have access to info but you seem to be ok on thats side. maybe you can ask they to help with the school issues or talk to the school's SENCO.
I had probs with Kaines previous school but this one is really on the ball luckily for us.
My son has Tics both vocal noises and twitches but these are something he can't control and he doesn't do them on purpose. If you think he isn't meaning to do them but are unsure ask the psychiatrist as it can be made worse by some meds and others can ease it sometimes.
Anyway I better start phoning people n telling them off for not doing their jobs!! I am getting a lot of evidence to prove that a social worker did not to hers properly and this has hindered our case.
Cheerio for now.
hiya - yes hes on DLA.i get £300 per month 4 him,i also get carers allowance.i often hav interviews wiv senco but i am alsways on my own wen i see the school/senco... i never heard of parent partnership... i would luv a rite hand man 2 speak 4 me.cos sumtimes i dont say everythin i want 2.
tics - joshs tics r the noises and face pullin...... he doesnt do it on purpose.if im havin a pmt day n i give josh a row sayin 'for christ sake josh,stop bloody doin those noises.' he says 'oh im sorry'...then seconds lata hes doin it! then i feel bad.lol.he blows 'rasberries' constantly.i know he cant help it but it really really gets on my nerves.also wen im talkin 2 him he pulls stupid faces - that i dont know if its 2 wind me up or wat!!
talk 2 u later,hope u sort out that crappy social worker.
hi rachel.hope ur ok as u've not bn on 4 few days??hows things wiv kaine this weekend?josh has bn ok thankfully.hes had a good day 2day,he cleaned the garden.he trashed it few weeks back.its taken weeks of naggin 4 him 2 clean it up! he even broke the shed door off and the greenhouse door.
2day was the baby's turn 2 b a monkey! he wanted 2 b held all day.i couldnt do any cleanin.he normally has a nap at 9am til 11am then again at 2pm til 4pm.but he didnt hav any naps 2day.
did u phone those peolple after?hope u got things sorted...
im off now as im gonna watch film wiv dan.
nite nite xx
yeah me n my hubby both spent all day on phone n most of fri too! we still havent found out if the social worker did go to the direct payments panel like she said but according to the people who deal with the payments and the customer services manager for all services-none had heard of akine and there was no record of any meetings. I am waiting for the managers' manager of the social services to contact me. I kinda went over everyones head as enough wa enough. It has been a long n draining week really n to top it all we sent Kaine to school at usual time n i got a call from school saying he didnt get into school til 9.10am-he was found playing in a filed with a friend from the same school-to say the least i was not happy. The home to school suport lady sent an hr with us n cancelled her appts to see us which was very good of her, she is guna contact the NCH and Barnardos and also said that they can give us some money towards the start of Kaines counselling. I couldnt beleive it as the previous lady never mentioned this! If we can do the intiall assessment done and then we know what type of counselling n wot issues he has n that way we can yet again ask for direct payments to be done for this service as we now have proof that the socail services do say he needs counselling. They still want to close the case on tuesday but we have been advised not to sign it and to oppose everything stated even if we think she may have done some of the work. I guess the moral of all this is trust no-one and always tape record all meetings even when they say there is no reason to!
I decided to try n forget the past few days events but its been hard, can't sleep n I grind my teeth when stressed so i have had toothache! Instead I planted all my seeds and started off my pots-all vegatables by the way. Its the first time ive ever done it but we shall see how it goes. I have always wanted my own veggie plot n my hubby made me some raised beds. he too took a break n he sowed some grass seeds after he had rotivatored it.
Hope the rest of the bank holiday goes well, maybe the little one just felt you needed to relax n not do housework as thye can pik up when ur stressed!!
hiya rachel - well im glad u hav bn told u can hav help 4 payin 4 kaines counsellin.hav u got any other kids by the way?
thats funny how ur doin a veggie patch - my partner planted new veggies in our greenhouse wiv josh yesterday! josh loves gardenin n growin veg.he grows veg every yr.hes got peppers,chillies,cucumbers,carrots,tomatoes n strawberries! it really calms him.try 2 get kaine 2 do it.josh is obsessed wiv water so his fave bit is gettin the hosepipe out,wiv the shower nozzle on the end,he waters the garden!
its 9.30pm n josh is out in my dads garden (my dad lives next door).they got a fire burnin,cos josh helped my dad take the shed down 2day.they burnin that n the junk from his garage! josh thinks its brilliant.hes out there watchin the fire,wiv his wellies on!!! hes bn outside all day helpin my dad.hes had dinner out the garden 2.hes bn good.i hope kaine as been good 4 u.
Become a fan of ThinkBaby
Follow us on twitter
Other Immediate Media Sites
Our eCommerce Platform
Chat & Share
Win & Free
© Immediate Media Company Ltd 2011. This website is owned and published by Immediate Media Company Limited.