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Getting tested

7 messages
09/06/2005 at 16:47
Hi all,

We've been TTC for about 14 months now (who am I kidding 'about' I know exactly!) but no luck so far. I'm keen to start getting some tests done as we're both not getting any younger (I'm 29, he's 35). I read that it's best to get the man checked out first, but I know this means a trip to a clinic with a magazine and a plastic cup and I feel odd about asking my partner to do it. Anyone got any tips on how best to raise the issue?
I don't want to look all desperate and obsessed, but I don't want us to hang about if a diagnosis might take a while either. help!
09/06/2005 at 20:08
Well, if you've got this far you probably know it could be either of you with a problem - or you could just be unlucky with timings etc.
If there's nothing for you that's obviouisly a problkem, like being very underweight, then the quickest thing to do is to is get your other half tested cos you might need loads of tests.

My husband was really keen for children too, so he was just grateful that there seemed to be something we could do when we talked about it and he saw straight away that it made most sense for him to step up and get tested first. His sperm were fine as it happened and it was a big relief (for him!) he was actualy really glad that he tested and got the ok not so he could say well I'm alright, but I think he was pleased to know it.

I think you should more or less come straight out with it and not make a big deal of it, as it's not a big deal, if you tip toe around the subject you might build it up. Or you could take him with you to the doctors as the doctor is pretty likely to suggest he gets tested at least in my experience.

Good luck and don't panic, if he causes a fuss then just pont out to him that the sooner it's sorted out the faster he can forget about it..
Give a glass or two of wine first maybe to unwind him and don't bring it up when he's already stressed out.
Just my tuppneth
20/07/2005 at 11:45
Had forgotten all about this and then just got an email in my inbox for a new message on another conversation. How very strange!

As an update I took courage from Jmayer's posting (thatnks!) and rasied the question the following week. Turns out I'd worked myself up over nothing, not far into the conversation, when we were discussing possible problems he suggested he should go and get tested!!!!
We've yet to get around to making an actual appoinment, but it's a been a busy few weeks. Fingers crossed we'll get it done soon - at least I've got the hardest part over.
20/07/2005 at 14:30
No problem Cinderellie, glad it all went well for you. I think a lot of men aren't as sensitive about the subject a we might think.

Good luck with the tests.
03/08/2005 at 10:27
Just wondering how you guys were doing Cinderellie, have you had the tests done yet?
05/09/2007 at 18:12

I've been trying for a year now, and my G.P. has just recommended my OH get tested. This has been met with a rather firm refusal, and as the GP won't refer any further we're now a bit stuck.

He was happy for my to have any tests needed (so far only hormone levels to date) but it's not like his test will cause him any discomfort so I really don't see a problem.

The way he's been behaving you think I'd asked him to put his bits in a vice!!

Any advice on getting him to go?

06/03/2008 at 13:21

Hi Sarah I know how you feel my DH said he wasn't going to do the sample but we haven't ben refured to any clinic all our test's are being done at our GP's my DH didn't have to leave the house to do his sample which was  Tuseday this week I just took it to the GP's when he'd done is there no way you can do that with your GP.

I think his pride maybe getting in the way the fact that if there are any problem's with him he'll feel less of a man and can't see past that you need to have a heart felt chat tell him how you feel and how scared you are too he may open up and agree like my DH did don't give up hun

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