last thursday i found out that two girls i get on well with at work told me that they were pregnant but it turns out one is due on what would have been my planned date and the other one the week after - felt like a knife go through me ! but coped and then on saturday it hit me that my sister in law was probably pregnant -  she told me a few weeks ago she was a few days late then we went to satc and she wasnt drinking - antibiotics - and she has been forgetful so on saturday realized she was pregnant said to my OH he just said you are nuts but on monday his brother went round and told him.

I dont know why but have been crying ever since i found out for sure .  I know its stupid but just feel jealous and envious and that why did my baby die and hers has been ok .. it should be me pregnant ... I should be the one that has the first grand child....just feel really ashamed that i feel like that and cant be happy for them ... just feel really sad like my baby has been stolen...and that its not fair... know its not logical but just feel so emotional cant stop crying... feel angry with them and thats terrible!

She is leaving to go back to oz on wednesday and OH mum is throwing a quiet good bye bbq around at her house .... i just dont know if i can go and feel happy and listen to all the baby talk just know will feel really sad and i know i shouldnt show it should be happy for them.  I cant even say this out loud as it sounds lame! sounds so spiteful and horrible - I am really not normally like this but somehow her getting pregnant has opened wounds that i thought werent there.

Yvonne,

No way, not barking mad - completely normal.  I'm sorry you're feeling like this at the moment.  I am the same - some days are fine, and I can feel as if I am dealing with everything fine - I can even make sense of what happened (Ihave miscarried 4 times) and see that all will be well in the end.  But like you, it takes small triggers to set me off.  My friend announced that she and her partner had decided to try for a baby - she knew about my 1st m/c, so I found that quite insensitive.  As a result I avoided talking to her for ages, as all our friends seem to be having babies.  I thought I would be one of the first, but as time goes on I will be last, I know.  Anyway, my other friend told her about my situation and she has been very supportive and sympathetic - I wish I'd toldher sooner!  It does feel though as everyone on our list of friends is beating us to the finishing post though.  Do your family know about your m/c?  If they do I'm sure they will be careful what they say around you, but I find that one of the hardest things is thinking that people are trying to avoid talking about their happy news.  It's hard, but if you talk openly to your sis in law and friends about their babies, it will be easier on you than thinking its all going on behind your back.  My friends that know have been hugeley supportive - they and I feel that we can bring the subject up without offending each other - I'd much rather that than feel that I was isolated and alone.  (Which I do sometimes anyway - only natural I suppose.)

I find that the loss of the dream is as hard to deal with as the loss of the baby - plans that you make,  dates in your head,  the fact that I will no longer provide my Grandma with her 1st great grandchild, the fact that my sister will probably be pregnant soon, that I will no longer need a maternity dress for my friends wedding etc etc.

 Sorry for bleating on - my msgs are always too long.

 Hope you feel better soon Yvonne, try confronting your friends with how you feel, I really think it will help.

Love to all,

 J x 

I got my period this morning i haven't been online for a week or so, i have been so upset this week! I would of been 11 weeks yesterday  i should of been looking forward to my 12 week scan but now i have my period!! I was so hoping i would have a BFP this is my first period since M/C on the 14th May!!  Its like a HUGE slap in the face....

On a plus i seen my midwife from asissted conception last Thursday who is giving me a fantastic oppertunity for weight lose managment and i started my healthy eating last Fri and i am determined to stick to it, even though i am so sad today and all i want is chocolate anf full fat coke today! 

Hey Ash,

I guess the positive about that is knowing that you can start trying again after your period is done, when you begin to ovulate. I know what you're going through. I miscarried April 29, 2008 and it's been really difficult every since. I should be in my 18th week now and it's really heart breaking. Just when I think I'm done crying, I break down again!

I really don't know what's going on with my body, but AF has been around every since miscarriage. It stopped for about 5 days then came back & hasn't left yet. I was having symptoms of being pregnant; nausea, tired, backaches, abdomen cramps, tender(not swollen) boobs, & many trips to restroom. I took hpt's but all were neg. I'm starting to wonder if it could be an infection because my back and right side abdomen has been cramping so bad with a burning sensation at times. I'm waiting to see a doctor(new in the area & seeing new docs).

I pray it's not kidney infection or ANYTHING bad!

Good luck and baby dust to everyone. GOD BLESS! xxxx

I feel for you whole hearted!! I had mine lat month and we had really been trying so was devastated to find it there!! very hard and I know its going to be the same every month!!   I really thought i had done with crying too and wham bam its there again think my oh thinks i am barking!! being really sweet though!!

 I guess you just need to give your body time!! easy to say hard to do - i struggle with it every day!! i mc a month before you and this is my second month of trying after "getting back to normal" and still doesnt feel right - am almost sure wont happen this month either but fingers crossed for both of us! 

 feel your pain am sure its nothing serious but go and get checked out just in case am sure its just somethingsimple so dont worry.

Big hugs and baby dust to all

Yxx 

Jenny

thanks so much - glad to know i am not going mad!  and somehow comforting to know someone out there is feeling the same as me!! if that sounds wierd as wouldnt want to wish it on my worst enemy!!  Here for you too if you need to chat!  I have the family "get together tomorrow to discuss the brilliant news just hope i can get through it all !

Yxx 

Hi Yvonne,

Thanks for sharing your story. It is really scary not knowing what's going on with my body, especially with the pain & cramping in my back and abdomen. The bleeding isn't terrible, it's just there and I want it to stop. I'm sorry to hear that you are experiencing what I've been going through. I think it could be even harder for me to get pregnant again, being that I used clomid because of irregular cycles. That's what make it worse! I went through all that and when it finally happened, it was all taken away. Now, I sometimes feel that DH really don't want to try again. He already has a daughter. I told him that he knows what that love between parent and child is, and I long for that feeling! I pray that your situation gets better.

Good luck & baby dust to all. GOD BLESS! xxxx 

hi everyone,

i have a m/c at 7 weeks in jan 08, i felt like all you women, i was destated, i couldnt be around other babies, pregnant women without crying. i couldnt understand why it happened no matter what ppl said to me.

anyway, im just writing this post because  there is light at the end of the tunnel. im currently 13+3wks pregnant and fingers crossed everything is going great.

never stop trying it will happen.

baby dust to all

good luck and take care xxx

Hi Vicky,

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I'm now living on a military base and there are pregnant women EVERYWHERE! When I first got here, I was so hurt... feeling the emptiness and the need to want to cry.

But after about a week of seeing them all over the place, my DH & I just started counting them and laughing it off. He said maybe it'll rub off on me

I wanted to know if there was or anything you did this time around to be more cautious. I started taking baby aspirin right after the miscarriage and started taking iron pills(via doctor) as I may be anemic because of the tiredness.

Well I decided to only take the prenatal yesterday and the rest of the week to see if the bleeding stops.

By the way, CONGRATS on the new BLESSING! Baby dust and GOD's LOVE to ALL! xxxx

hi teresa,

there was nothing different i did this time, i moved house when i would of only been a few weeks, lifting boxes etc! not a good move but then again i didnt know i was pregnant. i couldnt work out when my periods were due cos they were all over the place when i came off the pill so i couldnt work out when i was ovulating so we just had sex everyday. loads of ppl told me this wouldnt work cos id be lowering his sperm count etc but it did! keep taking your iron tablets and get the folic acid in your system aswell.

i know its hard to do but try not to let this rule your life it will just stress you out.

i would say eat a healthy diet etc etc but i was filling my face with whatever i wanted to eat and smoking so that didnt affect me.

it WILL happen again soon, it only took me a month to fall again.

Good Luck and Take care of yourself

loads of baby dust and glue

vicky xx

Thanks so much for you replys!

Vicky, a huge CONGRATS to you.... Rub some of that baby dust on me   keep positive girls, and keep practising xxx

Thanks Vcki,

I went to have my BETA LEVEL checked again this morning, and it was 4.0 last Thursday it was 5.3. I't's taking forever to get to 0.5. My doctor put me on Provera to help regulate my cycle because I'm still on and it's going on 4weeks. She's going to start me on Clomid again once the Beta reaches 0.5 or less. Take good care of yourself so in the end you can see your baby's beautil smile!

Hello, Baby Dust, & GOD's LOVE to ALL!

Hello ladies....

Just popped in to see how you all are getting on? I have had my good and bad days, slowly but surly its more good than bad days

Anyway i just thought i would see if there is any updates, love to you all xxxxx

Hello Ashrxxx and everyone... just wanted to give you all a quick update. I took clomid in June and took a pt July 21 and got a faint line for positive... took another test a few days later and got a neg. I'm not sure what happened, but I did everything right from the Provera.. Clomid.. temp charting.. etc. I even had symptoms of pregnancy(vomiting, nautious, tired, tender boobs, etc). My cycle ended up coming on July 31st and I was passing clots, some big. I thought it could have been an early miscarriage. In a way, I just want to give up. Things are starting to get bad with DH & I, arguing like almost everyday. Anyway, I pray all is well with everyone else. Take care of yourselves!

Good Luck & Baby Dust to All. GOD BLESS!! xxxx

Oooh honey!!

I am so sorry your feeling like this babe! It sounds like a chemical preg, where the egg is fertilised but doesnt stick, hence a BFP then a BFN.

I am so sorry things are tough at home to, i know what your feeling, i had terrible rows with DH all weekend, and i felt like packing it all in, then i get good days and carry on, ttc is so hard at the best of time, but to be having trouble i n the relationship makes it 100 times harder to bear...

For women its tougher ttc'n as we are physicly going through this emotional aswell as pyhsicly....

Try and sit down with DH and put the cards on the table and have a heart to heart, i hope it all works out honey, and come and join us for a moan on the ttc thread, everyone is welcome there xxxxxxxx

Hi everyone

I had a mis-carriage 7 weeks ago. I had a period after 5 weeks after it happened and we are back trying but i am so scared it will happen again or that i will not be able to conceive at all. I know what leaflets say and that it could just be a one off but im so scared. Its all i ever think about!! It will be nice to just have people to talk to that understand. And is it me but after a mis-carriage does it seem like evryone else in the world is pregnant!!!! x

Hi Warner honey....

I am so sorry for your loss, i have made a thread "remembering our angels" that may give you comfort, i lost a baby at 6 weeks gestation in May this year so i feel your pain honey....

Please please join us all on the ttc cont thread, we are WONDERFULL supportive women who are all on the rollercoaster of ttc, and a few of us have lost babys....

One female has gone on to fall pregnant

I look forward to chatting to you over there honey xxxxxx

Ps YES everyone seems pregnant when your ttc xx

Hey girls,

 I too find myself now writing on this board rather than due March 09. I had a mc at 7 weeks after falling pregnant straight away. Me and hubby are completely devastated. We try to deal with it, then something sets us back. I now have two sister-in-laws that are pregnant, one due three weeks before I would've been, and the other due a matter of weeks after. I try to be happy for them, but with every moan about a sympton i just feel a lump in my throat and the knife twisting even deeper.

I am perfectly healthy, no reason why I miscarried. Did all the right things, took my folic acid since coming off the pill in march, gave myself a three month break, absoutley everything. So why me? And why, when one of my s-i-l's smokes heavily, the other is overweight, do they seem to have perfectly fine pregnancies and I don't?

I keep getting the sodding emails from all the blinking websites I signed up to, and the postman delivers leaflets, catalogues etc on a regular basis. I've been naughty, we haven't bothered to wait for my next period before trying again. The only way we can possibly get over it is to get pregnant again. I am lucky that I fell pregnant straight away last time, that's my only hope. I know some of you aren't so lucky and I really feel for you.

With every potential sympton I get excited, then have to ground myself, I can't believe I would have the same luck twice to fall straight away. Guess time will tell.

Thinking of you all on this thread.

Erika

xxx

Hello Erika honey!

I am so so so sorry honey for your loss, you did NOTHING wrong, but EVERYTHING right, i am on my 4th cycle since my mc i fell after 3 years of trying and it hurts so so much, and ttc is the way i am copping to, please come and join us on the new ttc thread, we will all support you on the road to having that baby honey!

Your doing nothing wrong ttc before your AF comes, as long as the bleeding has stopped its ok, they only want you to wait to date a pregnancy, but a scan can do that, your actualy more fertile, Nicola on due March fell straight away after her m/c, so thats a good thing to hold on to honey!

I have made a thread called remembering our angels, when your ready you should have a wee look on there, its lovely all the messages.

I look forward to chatting on ttc, and all the love in the world for ttc, take care xxxxxxxx