Hello all
Your poor little man Charlene, i am dreading Ella getting her first proper cold she has had odd snuffles but nothing really bad, It makes you feel so helpless because you can't make it all better for them
I went to look at a nursery today, I used to work for them as a cook before they moved premises, the two staff that were in the baby room when I worked there are still there, so thats decided it, I won't feel like I am leaving her with strangers because Dee and Julie are so brilliant with the babies they really love them, it was lovely to see them today, Ella seems really relaxed there, so she's going to go for a couple of trial sessions just for an hour then an hour and a half to see how she gets on, they said I can do as many of those length sessions as I think she and I need before I leave her longer. She's only going to go two mornings a week 8.30 till 1.
I Feel like a bad mother for doing it, but I don't get any help with her from anywhere else, I have to take her everywhere with me, and quite frankly I need a break, I'd do it for 1 day a week if I could but the minimum number of sessions for the nursery is 2 a week. I'm exhausted, my hair is a mess my skin is breaking out in spots? I'm comfort eating because i feel so crap about myself, My once beautifully manicured nails are breaking and haven't seen nail polish for 6 months, I am a total mess, my BP is still high so now the doctor has put me on water tablets as well! I may as well go shoot myself LOL.
Seriously I do feel bad about resorting to a nursery, but also recognise that I personally need some time to myself, for gods sake I'm going for a smear test on Monday with Ella in tow how much worse can it get!!!! I'm sure if I get a bit of me time I'll be a much better mummy than the stressed out mess she has to put up with now.
Right time to chase other daughter to bed or she won't be able to get up for school tomorrow.
Gill and Ella
