we've had a lovely sunny day here. Spent the day at a local country park with other mums and babies which was gorgeous! Hope you're enjoying your night off! I have no idea on formula feeding so goodness knows whether your charlie is feeding too much. All I know is that my little fella pulls off as soon as he's had enough and that's after a 5 mins breastfeed. He's always very quick feeder - health visitor says he gets what he wants so not to worry. His weight is fine and that's the main thing. Baby rice went down well again today. Sadly Charlie has never really slept through other than on odd occasions but am hoping that weaning could improve things!
charlie is geting very wingey during the day..sleepin 10 hours a nite and naps during day and feeding fine, but getting v wingey for some reason.also finding it hard being alone. so i guess we both have bits of good stuff and other bits not so good.... guess thats what makes them individuals.lol.we dont get interaction from other mums they are very clicky..ie dont like new ppl, and ive only been here 4 yrs!, so mainly its me and charlie, thats why i find it hard going sometimes.plus my back has gone again, carrying c up four flights of stairs has popped back out again. but i would end up a crying mess if i didnt get out each day.you can only imagine what im like when nit rains lol
tell me about it - we try to go out every day otherwise I would seriously lose the plot. its a shame that the other mums aren't welcoming where you live. I was fortunate to make friends at the NCT antenatal group and have met some other mums locally through a baby group. They really have been my life savers in keeping me sane. Charlie went through a phase where he was only content to be on his own for a very short while and then would got 'uh..uh..uh..' until i returned. I think this is how they learn about consequences of what they do. he still does it at time but not so much thank goodness! Hope your back isn't too painful.
Sorry for butting in! I don't know where you live Julianne and whether you've already looked into things but just wondered whether you have looked for swimming lessons, massage classes, found out what they do at your local library/Salvation Army centre or any village halls around you. I am very lucky that in my village with have a 'Children's centre' who run free massage classes and groups for different age pre-school children. However I have also found a super swimming class which we go to on a Thursday morning. Usually on a Wednesday afternoon I take my little boy to the town library as they have nursery rhymes and singing (free) and then there is a signing class which takes place in the Salavation Army hall, although we haven't had any time to try it yet! It really is worth looking around if you haven't done so already and I've met so many people through doing these things. We go out at least once a day and don't get a chance to get lonely!! Ignore me if you've already tried looking
hi rach..its ok was just having a sorry for myself moment....have been up all nite coz have damaged back again, and pain killers dont work...so was just wingeing.... am swimming on sat..i dont swim so oh is taking charlie.....went totea and tots this am was completely ignored by other mums so came home.lol
not much about here...... must venture further afield lol
You're allowed to feel sorry for yourself and have a moan, that's what's lovely about this site! Sorry to hear about your back. It's a real shame that you were ignored by other mums - I've found since having a child other mum's will just start a conversation with me, or I'll start one with them as we're all in the same boat!
the other mums here are all "my baby is perfe ct gina f*** rules "etc.where as behind closed doors its different.its all an act in other words. its all designer clothes and all that where as me, i dont agree with what they say, and if they ask my opinion i give them my opinion not what they want to hear so i guess im not a sheep.lol.
have been to work tonight what a laff can hardly bend down etc and trying to work with challenging adults and epileptics lol. whos lookin after who hahah
Thought I would update you on my little star sleeper...my how things have changed! Charlie now sleeps through the night most nights (apart from when teething) and has done for several weeks now. Plus we have done some serious sleep training and Charlie sleeps in his cot day and night - we put him down awake and after what is now a short while he falls asleep without being rocked, cuddled...infact we are downstairs enjoying the peace! Initially we had lots of upset and after it seemed to be working initially it then all fell apart and he positively refused to fall asleep and would grumble, cry and moan for over an hour at times. But now it seems to take between 1 and 20 mins and he's fast asleep, day or night!
...how did you manage to get your LO to sleep in the cot during the day?? My DS is 13weeks and he sleeps from 7pm - 6/7am, which is great, no fuss at all. But he just won't sleep in his cot during the day, he wants to be hugged to sleep and wakes if we put him down. I'm in need of major help as can't get anything done when OH is at work!!
Through perseverance! Charlie really would not sleep in his cot at all in the day up until recently and so I would make sure I was out in the car when I expected him to be tired or would put him in the pushchair in the house and rock him forwards and back until he nodded off. While both of these worked we came to the decision that we were going to have a nightmare in the future if he wouldn't sleep in his cot in the day. Plus at night he was being fed to sleep (as it worked!) which meant that the biggest issue was actually that he did not know how to fall asleep himself. He would just cry and get very very upset. So we decided to tackle it head on.
We started to put him in his cot when he wasawake but calm, but when we knew he was tired (so 2 hours after he wakes in the morning, and 2 or 2 1/2 hours after that) and left him. He would of course start to grumble and make nosies as if to say "where are you, how dare you leave me..."etc. If he started to get genuinely upset (rather than just making grumbling noises) then I would go in, give him his dummy and soothe him back to being calm. Once calm I would leave the room again. Sometimes if I leant in the cot and cuddled him while he was still lieing down then he would visibly relax. But we would never pick him up unless genuinely upset. We soon found out that by keeping on leaving him and only going in to reassure him that he would eventually fall asleep. Sometimes it would take 10 mins, sometimes up to an hour, but in the end he would usually sleep. I think there have been maybe 2 or 3 times that I've given up and got him up, but then he has always slept later on and caught up with the missed sleep. So it's not controlled crying as they shouldn't ever get to the point where they are really crying.
After a good start we had a big set back when his third tooth came through! He started waking in the night and the daytime naps went completely to pot! I felt like everything we had achieved had been lost and then we fell back into old habits like feeding him to sleep. After a few days of this we again decided to tackle it again and have not looked back since. He goes for his daytime naps and goes to sleep after his bath and milk at bedtime with no problem at all. We put him down awake, he often makes noises for 10-20 mins but usually is asleep very quickly. So he has now learned that he can fall asleep by himself.
I don't take all of the credit - I think part of it is that they do it when they are ready anyway, Charlie has also decided that he quite likes sleeping on his tummy so whereas just a few weeks ago he would roll onto his tummy in his cot and then wail to be rescued, he now will fall asleep in this position. I know that the advice is that babies must sleep on their backs, but they get to an age where the roll over in their cots and choose to sleep on their tummies and there's litlle that you can do about it. So I believe it's a combination of the above and sheer determination on our behalf.
When we started trying to do all of this I read posts on websites like this from people who had had success with getting their little one to sleep in their cot in the day and never dreamed that we'd actually achieve it as I was convinced that charlie would be the exception to the rule! But we made it ...finally!
Ugh well done you! We got desperate with the night-time sleeping issue. He would stay up with us on the sofa and generally nap until about 9/10pm, and wake every 3ish hours for feeding in the night. I was getting fed up as he had once slept 6 hours so I knew he could do it! We figured that if we were going to try to get him into a routine then the best time of day to start is the eveneing. So, we bathed, clothed, fed, hugged him, then put him to bed at 7pm. He cried a little the first night, the second night he just grumbled, and the third night he went to sleep straight away and slept the entire night until 5am!! That was 3weeks ago and he sleeps every night without a noise, and today woke at 7:30am. He just won't go in his cot in the daytime!!!
I figured It would probably be easier if I didn't venture out the house for a few days, and every time he gets sleepy, put him in his cot, not to any set times, but he does generally get tired at the same times of day anyway. He did sleep in his cot twice in one day last week when I tried (and gave up!) half an hour, and one hour. So, I know he can but is just fussy! He gets incredibly grumpy in the day and we noticed he does this when he's tired.
He had a grumble a minute ago, then went all sleepy on me so I put him to bed, he cried a little for a few minutes and is now asleep I think! (Either that or he's sussing out the escape route! lol) For my own sanity I need to get him to sleep alone in the day. I just can't get anything done and I think my OH must think I'm lazy to not do anything when he's at work!!!!!
The thing is when I mention it to people they think I'm just moaning and should be greatful he sleeps all night! But sleeping all night is lost if you use all your energy all day trying to get a grumpy sleepy baby to be happy, entertained and sleep alone!!
Sorry, I rambled lol. You seem to have done well with your LO. If I can just get this sorted, Tyler would be a star sleeper too!!!
I understand exactly what you mean Julianne. You can't get anything done, they get grumpy and most importantly you don't get a break at all which was what I struggled with the most. Keep putting him in his cot. I think that the association with sleep is very important and believe that Charlie now knows that the cot is for sleeping. Even if Tyler sleeps for a short while initially I think it's partly a battle of wills and as one of my other mummy friends recently said...she has a 30 year head start on stubborness and determination! Good luck and keep me posted.
lol I like that way of thinking. I have a 24yr head start, I'm good at stubborness according to my OH lol. So far today have managed:
45mins @ 8:45
40mins @ 10:30
and so far he's been in bed since 14:15
I've not let him fall asleep on me at all today, and the last time he went in his cot without even making a noise! We did have 2 attempts between the last 2 naps that failed though!! I thought he was tired, but apparently he wasn't THAT tired!! lol
Wonder how long until he's awake again? I don't mind how long he sleeps, as long as he does! That way hopefully he'll get the point and start to sleep longer at lunch time.
He's definitely learned that nighttime = sleep, and that he goes back to bed after his 5/6am feed for 2hours... so he'll learn this eventually... fingers crossed.
So far today, even though he has slept, I still havn't got anything done!! lol. I keep thinking he's going to wake up, so only do the major things... peeing, drinking, eating etc lol. I did manage to eat some chocolate cake (how healthy!)
Chocolate cake is definitely a priority! I know what you mean though - I often eat as soon as he's asleep as I learned the hard way when he was very little and was very hungry for most of the time! Seems like the sleep is going well today for you. It's good that he sleeps for another couple of hours after his first morning feed as 5am is not a good time to start the day! Charlie had his first settling in session at nursery today as I am back at work on Monday. He had a lovely time, it was just me who was an emotional wreck! Apparently it gets easier....!
Well I must say I actually managed to do a wash and put 2 dry loads away while he's been asleep thismorning. I might actually get the house back up to my obsessively clean standard again lol.
