hi all,im 19yrs old and have 2 children,my son is 17 months old and my daughter 3 months,i suffer with potnal-depression.im finding it hard at  the mo,and i feel like im failing as a mother.i don't really have any one to talk to so just thought id write and see what happens.

love stacey x

stacey if u r feeling really bad u should go and see ur doctor and see if they can help you. I am pregnant with my 1st at the mo and i am worried about post natal depression. If u want to talk then i can listen.

Claire xx

thanks for ur reply.i am under the doctors for depression but it seems like nothing is getting better.plus it doesn't help that me and my partener are always arguing,he is comstantly on the pc talking to his mate,and if he not on pc he out with them and if he isn't out with them,they are always here,ive had a wrod with him and he doesn't seem to be bothered.so to stop arguments ive told him he can do wot he like,he can pc all night,out wid his mates when he wants and that his mate can come when ever they like,because i don't want to argue any more.

stacey xxx

that aint good for u either tho just letting him have his own way esp when u r feeling down. he should be helping u out in the house and with the kids. At 19 having to kids is hard work and he should know that. It sounds lyk u would be better off on ur own and prob happier. Ushould tell him he has to help u around the house and with the kids more then it wouldnt bother u if he went out every now and again.

U should give him a taste of his own medivine and go out and leave him with the kids to feed and see how he feels.

Where is it u r from ?

claire xx

im from birmingham,i would go out,id love to but id get questioned the min i get back so i don't go out so im in every day.ive tried finishing with him before but it never worked i let him stay,i just dont seem to ever win.he doesn't seem to care about what i say,he just say "they are my mates and ill do what i like".he also doesn't seem to bother with our daughter(3 months old) he would have her for about 2 mins n the min she starts to cry he calls me 2 get her.i dont know what do any more.

stace xx

Oh god u really r having a hard time of it. Whos house is it ? Urs or his ? U will have to make him choose either u n the kids or his mates. U would be so much happier without him. I know it sounds nasty but ive just had to do the same thing with my bf but with the football. He is training twice a week then playing on a sunday, he works mon - sat so whenever i want to go looking for baby stuff he is always working or at football then he says he dont feel included.

Do u have any family about u ?

Y wont he see to ur 3 month old himself ? All she wil be wanting is a cuddle, a bottle or her nappy changed.

Claire xx

its my house,yeh i av mom step dad,2 brothers n 2 sisters,dont know y he wnt,he just more interested in pc,mates n games.

stace xx

cant u take the kids to ur mums for a few days and give him a good kick up the ar*e, it  mite scare him into thinking he will lose u.

Does he work ?

I dont know wot i would do if i was u but as an outsider its easy to say leave him but i know how hard it is to leave esp with 2 kids but surely it would be alot better for u and the kids if u were on ur own with them and u mite get over ur depression as well.

Claire xx

ive been thinking that for a while,he just went for a interview today for a job.im learning to cope on my own with my two so i know i can do it,

i think ill have another word with him and if he don't listen or doesn't even try then im booting him out.

stace xx

Good for u.

U will be great on ur own and there wont be no atmosphere, u will have no1 to answer to but urself and ur kids. At the end of the day this obviously aint making u happy and the kids will realise that as well.

U need to do wot isbest for u and ur kids,never mind him.

U no where i am if u need to chat about anything. U sound lyk a really nice girl and i hope u get where u want to be with or without ur bf.

Claire xx

thank u so much.

stace xxxx

hi there,

u should be strong. even if ur partner is not helping u around the house or with kids it doesn't matter for thetime being. The idea of leaving the house to stay with ur parents for a few days may help give ur partner clear ideas about u. don't take the decision of splitting up immediately as it is always good to break things than to repair them. While u r away he will realise the importance of having a small family ie u and the 2 babies. because he won't feel warmth in the house if he sleeps alone for a few days. if he is a family person believe me it will wrk.

meanwhile try to enjoy ur rest with ur family. even if ur family will feel that ur presence is a heavy load, they have to accep that because u r there daughter. so, be patient with ur parents as well and they will let u enjoy a few days of peace. u can also try to meet other mums in a cafe with ur kids. do not forget that ur kids need to play with other babies , or at least look at them, this will help develop their brain and become happy and learn quickly.

all the best.

PS: it will not be easy to find another partner to share ur life with if he lives with kids who r not his. the real dad will be more patient and will not normally complain.