I had a complicated delivery with my first little boy, he had the cord tied so tight around his neck he couldn't move down to be delivered. I was in early labour from Friday till monday and he was finally delivered by section at 8pm monday night as an emergency as both him and me went into shock and started to deteriorate very quickly.
The actual section went great and i felt great afterwards - no problems and was able to do everything on my own within the next few days.
I've been asked by the consultant to decided whether i want to attempt to deliver this time or jsut book in for a planned section.
I really don't know what to do for the best. Part of me wants to have a go but the other part is terrified and thinks well i've already got the scar and my tummy mussles are already cut from before so its just a case of going back in the same way. I'm terrified of both and would really appreciate some other opinions.
My first was a complicated labour too it last 36 hours and then after 2 failed ventouse attempts they knocked me out and gave me a c section. The second time around i was given the choice aswell and i chose a trial labour which was basically they gave you 12 hours to deliver or gave you another c section. Unfortunately my daughter got stuck so i had to have another c section.
I'm glad i tried to have a natural birth but it wasn't to be. It was hard looking after my son who was 19 months and my daughter for the first 6 weeks after the c section because i couldn't lift him or drive anywhere, but if you've got a supportive partner you cope.
I know you're scared because of the birth last time but believe me when you go into labour your body takes over and you forget about your last labour.
I think though it's up to you to weigh up the pros and cons. I'm 6 weeks pregnant with my 3rd and trying to make the same decision as you too!!!!
Sorry to read you had such a traumatic experience with your son's birth... I can empathise as I also had a traumatic time ending in an emergency section after 70 hours in labour and my son being whisked off to SCBU! I am now expecting again and I am also being faced with similar decisions.
Personally for me I would do anything to avoid a repeat section as I am desperate for a vaginal delivery... nature is very important to me and I always wanted a minimal intervention birth. I planned a home birth with my wee boy so when it all went so wrong and I was transferred I was devasted, I felt I had failed and was very traumatised. Even though I know a planned section would be much calmer than what I experienced in an emergency situation, I still long for a natural delivery and feel for me personally I need to give it a try... I think I would always be stuck with the what ifs, if I didn't give VBAC a try and reckon for me the best option is to give me and my baby the best chance of natural delivery as possible but be prepared there is a high change I could end up with another emergency section... I feel that if this happens I will be much better prepared to deal with it better and know what to expect.
I really hope this baby has a much less traumatic delivery, ideally a vaginal one, and that I get to be with my baby from the start but I am definitely preparing mentally for the worst this time so that I am not destroyed like I was last time if it all goes wrong again. I find the thought of planning a section is against my nature and my beliefs but for some a planned section is a much less stressful and better option... it is a very personal decision.
Only you can make the decision ... do you have a partner? What do they think?? I know my OH was also very traumatised by our son's birth but after discussing all reasons, whys & options, he supports my decision of VBAC as the right one for us. I completely understand the dilemma you face and even though I reckon I have made my decision I am sure I am yet to doubt it at times and go through all the whizzing in my head of questions and what ifs again before I come to a final decision!!
Take care & hope you find a way to make the right decision for you. Good Luck!
Well i keep asking my OH what he thinks and how he feels about what we should do and all i get is well its up to you its your body and you that has to go through it and i'll just go along with whatever you what etc. - this is driving me mad coz what i really want is his opinion and feelings coz my own are so mixed and slightly confused.
Although i say my section was a great experience - which to me it was - i should have also put in that i have a lot of blanks as to what actaully happened. Don't get me wrong i hadn't had any drugs or anything until i was given the spinal for the emergency section but as my baby deteriorate so do I, we were both in shock and most of what happened was really fuzzy and confusing for me. i.e. i let a group of students watch me have an internal and one of them have a go at putting the little monitoring chip on babys head while he was still inside.
But on the other side i had no problems after baby was here - although everyone said i would. I was on my feet the next morning and carrying my baby, bathing my baby, walking around the ward - i realy felt great. I was out with my pram the following week (and it was a heavy pram) and i never had a bit of bother. I was able to stop my pain medication a few days after baby was here.
The hospital keep asking me for a decision but i jsut can't get my head around it
Aw Lel, sounds like your OH just wants to support you... he possibly doesn't realise by leaving it all up to you to decide he is actually making it harder for you... try asking him again but say you really want to know what the experience was like for him last time and how he would feel about both options... i.e. which one would make him more nervous or concerned, etc... maybe then he'll discuss his thinking!?
How long have you to go to EDD?? Are the hospital pushing because you are very close? If you have time left, tell them to back off and you will decide in your own time...it is not a decision you can rush... have you gone through your options and feelings with your midwife? Maybe talking it through with someone outside the family may help you clear your thoughts and be less confused by it all?!
I also have many blanks from my section, although what I do remember was not good... I also recovered quickly but because I felt so well and fit I did too much to soon and as a result I am paying for it now with pelvis and back trouble!! I think we will find this time not as easy to recover quickly and get back to normal if we have a second section mostly because, as Sarah says, it is tough when you have a wee one and can't lift them, etc... that will make things harder.
Keep talking it all through hun and you will eventually make the right decision for you but try not and feel pressured by the hospital... try and put that to one side as you do not want to feel you must rush into a decision.
They are not so muhc pressuring me to decided how to have baby as where to have baby. I went a little further a field for my first coz i had complications and went to Glasgow's children's hospital yorkhill (well the Queen Mums which joins on). Where we stay they have closed the maternity section of the hospital and only let straight forward births happen there via midwife only (no consultant if something go's wrong).
What they are trying to make folk do is have their pre care at the local hospital and then transfer you to a hospital in Paisley (only heard bad reports) to deliver. Its not as far as glasgow but still a good bit from us. They refused to scan me to start with unless i agreed to go to paisley, said i would need to go to glasgow for alll care which is over 40 minutes away in the car. They are really not interested in your actual care jsut numbers they deliver at the hospital. Midwife was really cheeky and backing me into a cornor over it.
Stories i have heard are you are put in a room to get on with it at paisley and they jsut don't care how you are doing. my OH wouldn't be allowed at the hospital unless it was within certain hours and i was pushing, otherwise he would be sent home which is about 30 minutes away. I'd be on my own to deal with things until the morning when he would be allowed back in.
So all in all i'm pretty scared haa haa oh well i don't think that this is something that i am going to make my mind up about eaisily or anytime soon. I can see positives to both sides of things and the negatives but i think i will sjut have to wait and see how my head is nearer the time - the decision could still be taken out of my hand anyway.
I had a emergengy section with my first child as she was undiagnosed breech, then with my son i opted for a planned section, i didn't want the situtation out of control again, and it was great it took 3 mins for him to be born, he was handed straight to me for a cuddle and i bonded straight away, (with my daugther it took alot longer as she was taken away).
I am nine weeks pregnant, with my third and am opting for a section again, the recovery after the first was slow, after the second was alot quicker.
I might be putting a spanner in the works.....I had a planned breech section which didn't actually go to plan. They had to be quite invasive and remove the plancenta by hand, I lost a significant amount of blood. JT was taken away immediatly and bought back washed and dressed 15 mins later. She struggled that night with congestion and was taken away and suctioned out several times.- a result of not having been sqeezed by contractions to clear the air ways before she was born. There was a catalogue of regrete to cope with and my post section care was, I feel, negligent. Within 10 days the wound was infected and remained that way for 10 months on and off. The wound kept opening up over and over. I found it very difficult to get over the section and can't face the idea of having another one and going through all that with a 2yr old to care for. A section however planned can go wrong.......
I'm keen to go for and succeed a VBAC. It would give me the chance to have a go and I feel that it is better to go into spontaneous labour even if it ends up and a section. However my dilema is how to do that in the way I want and not what the medics want. I have heard that they do intervene a lot, put you on a dead line, monitor you throughout so you cant be mobile or try the water ect.... It's not how I want it to be and I dont thnk it will help me to achieve a VBAC. Im getting mixed messages from my MW and nobody really wants me to decide until 36 weeks!! I'd like to be treated completly normally as if this is my first.
I did find a web site that has helped me be a little ..www.caesarean.org.uk
If you had asked me a couple of months ago I'd have said I wanted a section but I had so much fear of the unknown about labour......Now I've read up a bit I feel a bit more empowered and able to face those fears and in my experience having a go and failing can't be as bad as living with never having had a try.
Sorry to hear your planned section went so wrong... delighted to hear you are keen for a VBAC this time. I too am very keen to give a VBAC my everything but I am also aware I could still end up with a section... but like you feel it is better to go into labour naturally even if the end result is a section. Yes, there is a lot of pressure of deadlines and guidelines for a VBAC and many hospitals have time guidelines and various restrictions in place... BUT you must remember no matter how hard it is to say No and stand your ground that you ALWAYS have a right to do it your way...you can opt for a home birth if you want and therefore be in complete control of how much intervention you have but you may find you have a battle on your hands to convince any of the medics to support you... unless you opt for a private midwife and then you can hire one that will support you. I unfortunately can not afford a private mw or that is exactly what I would be doing this time! My only advice is I fought very hard last time for what I wanted and it was a long and stressful battle through most of my pregnancy and I came up against a lot of opposition (I was refused support for a homebirth as I am classed as higher risk due to being overweight)... I am convinced that the stress I went through to fight for my rights to have the birth I wanted played a big part in it going wrong in the end... my planned water birth at home ended with a section in a hospital 3 hours away, 70 hours after my waters broke!!! So a far cry from what I wanted... although this may have happened anyway, it did not help starting labour wiped out from weeks of standing my ground and with a knowledge that only one midwife was supportive of my decision and she was off at the time!!!
I have recently moved to a new area and I already feel it is the best thing I could have done to give me a good chance of VBAC... the hospital I have choosen is very pro-VBAC and actively encourage it... they have a 75% success rate as a hospital and are more than happy for me to choose this option. I am yet to discuss the actual plans for the birth as I am hoping to come to agreement of less intervention and an absolute must for me this time is to stay off my back - due to my baby's head being clipped with a monitor last time I was on my back for over 8 hours of contractions and my baby became stuck - i am sure this played a part!!
Anyway, enough of my ramblings!!! Good Luck with whatever you decide for you and remember no matter what ALL decisions are yours and no matter how much pressure medics put on you, you can refuse any aspect you like and they can not force you to do anything... some good references are the home birth website... www.homebirth.org.uk and the AIMS website... www.aims.org.uk
.jpg)
oh well i don't think that this is something that i am going to make my mind up about eaisily or anytime soon. I can see positives to both sides of things and the negatives but i think i will sjut have to wait and see how my head is nearer the time - the decision could still be taken out of my hand anyway.
