I had another antenatal appointment yesterday, I am now 17 1/2 weeks pregnant, with will have been the 4th midwife I have met from my team, I think there is about 8 in all. Each appointment I have had I feel has been very rushed. I was in to get my screening tests done yesterday and i got in to see the midwife at just before 1.35 and i was out the door by 1.42. She took my bloods checked blood pressure and listened to baby's heartbeat for about 6 seconds. She never asked for a urine sample or weighed me and even though I had loads of questions I feel I was rushed out the door. Im finding it all very daunting that I will have at least one of these midwives with me during labour and I am dreading it now because Im not building any sort of rapport with them.
I may be just fretting and thats how it might be all over but sometimes you cant help having a moan!
Nicola x

Sorry to hear your experience with midwives Nicola.

I'm feeling the same way but it will get worse too - I'm moving to a totally different area at the end of the year so my midwives & healthcare will change!

The only advice I can give you is to be upfront & ask your midwife questions as soon as she has the blood pressure monitor on you! Also make use of this site & other baby information on the Internet - I much prefer this than a hurried midwife.

I've already had a bad experience with my community midwife - she made quite unpleasant assumptions about me just because I have a slightly alternative appearance!

Good luck & keep posting on here.

Sam x

Hi nicola i have had good and bad experiences with midwifes! some are lovely like the one i have now and the socond one i had in my second pregnanacy! The thing is they have more patients than time!! As sam said start asking questions as soon ad you go in, and when she asks you to get up on the bed to listen to the heartbeat just tell her you have a few questions to ask first!
I didn't get on with the first midwife i had in my 2nd pregnancy so i asked for a different one and she was lovely! Unfortionately i have never had my community midwife when i had either of my girls as i was induced with both. With Lucie (my first) i had a shift change half way through my labour!!!
Sam, hope you don't mind me asking what you meant by slightly alternative appearance?

Louise xx

Louise - have I made you curious?! Haha! I have some facial piercings & dyed hair. I'm a self-employed artist & my partner has 3 jobs (one of which is a very responsible one - City Councillor!) but the midwife assumed we were both unemployed!! She also kept asking me over & over if I smoked or used drugs! Really unpleasant assumptions I felt. I'm so glad this is my 2nd baby (even if it is after a gap of almost 8 years!), I don't need to rely too heavily on what she says as I'm happy to "trust my instincts" this time.

Good for you Louise on speaking up & getting your midwife changed :)

Sam x

Yeah, I can totally identify with the lack of time in addition to their being several different midwives in a community team...it's hard to develop a rapport with a midwife if there's no continuity of care. Thankfully the community midwife I have seen thus far is also the mw who runs my aquanatal class so I feel more at ease and able to ask q's.

Sam, I can't beleive the audacity of the mw....that's soooo unprofessional and you'd think she'd know better and uphold equal opp's etc!

Hi Sam, i just asked as my little girl has facial deformities and everyone thinks that there must be something wrong with her mentally as she is missing half her lower jaw!!!!!
Good for you for expressing yourself. Don't laugh but i once worked in a library when i was 16. As a dare one day i got my tongue pierced and my boss nearly fainted and told me i gave the wrong impression to the people who come in!!! Never mind i carried on working there for 4 years!
i know what you mean about assumptions tho, when i had my last baby the midwife told me whilst in labour that labour times can vary with different partners, however my partner is the dad to both my children and if i wasn't in so much pain i would have got out of bed and lumped her! She assumed as i wasn't married and came from Leigh park that i must have differnt fathers for my children!

Louise - what a stupid thing for your midwife to say to you during labour! Surely labour times varying between labours - not fathers of the baby?!?!

And yes, because I live on the end of a council estate (despite the fact I'm buying my house) horrible assumptions are made about me according to my appearance. Its always a shock when they realise I'm quite well spoken & educated too! (I currently live in Yorkshire but am from Suffolk!).

Sam x

Hi Sam, we've just brought our council house too! Unfortionately it only has two bedrooms so i'm keeping my fingers crossed we are having another girl as we cannot sell for another year and a half due to the rules surrounding buying a council house! Was your pregancy planned? Mine wasn't we were happy with our 2 girls but i have to say Lucie who's 4 is loving it. She started school yesterday and when she picked up a dolly she told her teacher that it was called Katie like the baby in mummy's tummy. I haven't even picked names as my 20 week scan isn't til next month!! How far gone are you?

Louise xx

Hi Louise

Sorry for the delay in replying but I've been working away & then spending time in Nottingham searching for a new house!

Yes, this baby was very much planned. My partner & I have been together for 2.5 yrs & my first son is almost 8 yrs old so we really wanted to get on with making our family a more complete circle (plus I'm 32 this month & was worried I'd have fertility probs as I was diagnosed with endometriosis at 25).

I'm 13+6 weeks today. We're in the process of a load of upheaval as I'm buying this house but my friends are going to live in it & my partner is selling his house & buying another house for us all! We live about 35 miles apart & only have weekends together at the moment so I can't wait to move!

Sam x