Feeling weepy

Hi thought I would start this thread so I and others have somewhere to get it all out when we're feeling weepy!

I had Grace 1 week ago today by emergency C-Section after a 4 day labour, everything was fine and didnt get weepy until I left the hospital, I think its because I had been in for a week and was worried about going home and back to real life"

Since then I have cried over everything, breastfeeding is my biggest problem, Grace is really wanting to feed this way and is constantly searching for a nipple to feed but they wont get hard enough or stick out enough for her to latch on to and she ends up frustrated, so she is now on the bottle and I have plans to express

My most recent blubber was over something very silly, I was putting my maternity clothes away and getting my regular clothes out and could not stop crying!

If anyone has any ideas on keeping the tears at bay or just wants a chat, feel free to post!

x claire x

Hi Claire - trust me love, i know how you're feeling and you're NOT alone.

I had my little girlie in July (she's now 4 months old!) and after labouring for 8 hrs actively (33hrs from waters going), i ended up having an emergency c-section under general anaesthetic.

She would not latch on to breast feed very well either and in hospital by 3 o clock every morning (after 'feeding' for 5hrs or so) i'd end up cup feeding her to settle. When i got home, i tried her on the breast but still no joy, then i expressed for as long as i could. She is now bottle fed and weaning.

The one piece of advice i give any expetant or new mother is ... no matter what people tell you to expect absolutely NOTHING can prepare you for how you feel in those first 2 weeks after giving birth!

You're knackered, have a helpless, completely dependant baby to look after, want to do the best by everyone, want a routine, want to sleep etc... but your hormones are plunging to new deepths and the tears just keep on rolling. Call it post natal depression, the baby blues or just a hormonal imbalance. Or as i called it, bloody exhausting! You're also recovering from, what is actually, a major operation as well. (My midwife compared it to having a hysterectomy but leaving all the bits in place!) So it does take time.

Also, in hospital for that amount of time, you're surrounded by helpers (from the staff to visitors and other new mums), then all of a sudden its you, your OH and your baby. Its daunting stuff and its more normal to cry than not too. In fact, if you didnt it would almost be more worrying as you're not facing or acknowledging your new role.

But (!) honestly hun, trust me, as much as you wont see it yet, THINGS WILL GET EASIER! It really does just take time.

Congratulations on the birth of Grace.

Keep in touch, and hope all goes well. Due to your level of concern,...... i know you're going to do fine.

Love Charlotte and happy chatty Abigail. x

Oh, by the way i had exactly the same problem with my nipples and no matter what was suggested, nothing worked and Abi was bottle fed from about 2 weeks of age. She's now over a stone in weight, following the 75th centile on her growth charts, and doing so well. So do not feel guilty!

I'm a nurse and thought i'd always breast feed. Sometimes you just have to do whats right here and now. We're remarkable people us mothers....not robots with super strength nipples!

Hi Charlotte

Thanks for the reply, dont worry youre not patronising me! Yes I have made a LOT of posts lol, I am on the Due November thread and we talk like there is no tomorrow on there lol, I have a little boy too he is 6, I was in a very different position when I had him (single parent, lots of other problems etc) so thought this time around I would be nice and calm lol

Noone is influencing me with the breastfeeding it is something I really want to do, she really wants to as well, she is constantly trying to latch on when we are cuddling and feel so awful for her when she cant, bloody useless nipples!!

Congratulations on the birth of your little abigail too, sounds like she is thriving

xxxxx

Hi, My beautiful babyted boy is now 6 weeks old, everything was going really well until abot a week ago.

He has started to cry alot and feeding is becoming more and more difficult, he has been breastfeeding really well aince birth, he didnt even drop from birth weight but he has started taking himself off before he has finished and wont let me put him back on and then gets frustrated because he cant get back on quickly enough. i`m really worried that he is crying so much because i`m not producing enough milk for him.

By the time my OH gets home from work all i want to do is cry, i thought things were supposed to get easier not harder.

we have our check up next week and i hope that it goes ok and that he has put on weight and that this will put my mind at rest.

I feel like i was coping really well at the beginning and now i just feel completly overwhelmed by everything all the time, does anybody else feel the same?

Sorry for moaning on

Gem xx

Hi, My beautiful baby boy is now 6 weeks old, everything was going really well until abot a week ago.

He has started to cry alot and feeding is becoming more and more difficult, he has been breastfeeding really well aince birth, he didnt even drop from birth weight but he has started taking himself off before he has finished and wont let me put him back on and then gets frustrated because he cant get back on quickly enough. i`m really worried that he is crying so much because i`m not producing enough milk for him.

By the time my OH gets home from work all i want to do is cry, i thought things were supposed to get easier not harder.

we have our check up next week and i hope that it goes ok and that he has put on weight and that this will put my mind at rest.

I feel like i was coping really well at the beginning and now i just feel completly overwhelmed by everything all the time, does anybody else feel the same?

Sorry for moaning on

Gem xx

Hi Gem, is it just me or does most of our upset seem to stem from breastfeeding? its such an important thing to do and I wish I could help you but as you can see I have problems feeding too, hopefully someone will read this who can help you.

I have just got off the phone to the breastfeeding counsellor who patiently listened to me crying my eyes out, I feel bad because I havent even tried enough! I dont like to see Grace upset  so havent put her through it!

On the plus side, my photos have just arrived that were taken at the hospital by Bounty also made me cry though xxx

claire,

you seem to be right about the breastfeeding thing!!! I wish there was an impartial professional we could speak to, all the HV, MW, GPs ect will just tell us that "breast is best" and we will produce exactly the amount of milk that our LO needs!! Thats great but what happens when it doesnt work like that????

I think we have to listen to their advice but make up our own minds about what they need, we are the ones that are with them day in day out so will have a better understanding and idea of what they need!!

Re your nipples (isnt it strange, the subjects we can talk about once we become a mum lol) have you tried really squeezing your boob when Grace is trying to latch on, I found that this can help with Riley, just an idea

Keep your chin up

xxx

Ann thats the thing, im not tired or stressed or anything like that, infact I feel great! I just have moments where I feel I am letting her down, I think Its because I had my heart set on breatsfeeding and now I feel because I cant do it, its a big deal.

The BF counsellor has just been over with an electric pump for me so hopefully things will improve from now x

Thanks girls

I have Grace dressed in the cutest little outfit today! She has a tutu attached to her leggings and a little ballerina wrap top she looks adorable!

x

aww claire

*Big hug* i know exactly what you mean, the second i got home from hospital after having jamie i sat and cried my eyes out!! i think crying during the day is a regualr thing now LOL

with breastfeeding hun, its really hard at first!! especially when the lil tinker doesnt latch on..i always think..whats wrong? why isnt he latching?am i doing it wrong? i felt like that this morning when jamie latched on and unlatched and kept doing so for about 3 hours, getting impatient and finding it diffuculty getting anything out!, its ok when your in hospital and a MW puts baby on the breast for you but its hard when you get home

same with bathing, the MW that showed us how to bathe jamie did it so fast and didnt let us ask questions we have to bath him togethe, like i hold him and OH washes..etc i cannot hold him and wash at the same time its so scary rofl!!

your not alone though, like all these ladies say claire hun, today i feel chirpy (got a big feeling thats something to do with the amount of money that appeared in my bank overnight LOL) so thats one worry, i guess it all just builds up and builds up..its hard to understand to alot of people who find it a breeze..but nobody ever said parenting was easy lol

i'v had comments from people saying "you have responisibility now, stop being a cry baby"-kinda-thing...i'm loving the responsibility...and i love my little man more than anything ever! but it is hard to juggle everything and keep a dry eye lol even the slightest thing like i cant find the bottle lids i set off crying LOL

HV came yesterday, i was explaining to her that i havent got a fridge or freezer of washing machine..and then telling her i'v lost some weight and my eczema is sooo bad cos i cant eat properly..all i eat is noodles and pasta and crisps..cos i cant keep anything ...and she said.."well, why dont you drink milk to get your strength up and meat" i was like..."i cant i dont havea  fridge"..she replied with "oh"...so no help then!!! which upset me more

luckily my womens aid worker is chasing up about this community care grant to help me with fridge etc, and my landlord says to only pay rent when i can afford it..which is huge off my back considering how much it is to run a house let alone get the rent in on time!

woah i babbled on a bit lol
thats great about your counsiller bringing that pump over claire, will do wonders for you!
awwwww she sounds so cute i demand a picture lol!!

and here is jamie yesterday, wearing his dads hat LOL

Hi Tara

Fancy seeing you here

Did you move back into the house then? I thought you moved back home and your sister took on the house? I think I must have missed a post or two! Nice to hear you have received some money overnight!

Oooh Grace waking up for a feed will be back soon

As for the pic, I wish I could post it but my laptop isnt recognising the memory card! Will ask OH to do it when he gets back from the shop. Jamie is soooooo cute! bless him x

Back soon

x

Tara thats good that you have your own place sorted now and some heat! All you need now is a fridge and washer and youre sorted!

I feel ok, my electric pump came yesterday so have started to express and will give her the milk inbetween feeds so she is getting the extra nutrients when I am expressing enough for full feeds she will get that instead of formula

I am waiting in for MW today as I have had some strange bleeding, dont know if its normal after a section (tmi coming up) its brown and smells vile! so think I might have an infection somewhere will have to wait and see

Whats your plans today? me and Grace didnt get up until 10am!

x

Hiya ladies,

well we went for our 6 week check yesterday (although Riley is 7 weeks), it was a very strange experience. 1st of all they moaned and told me that LO was actually 7 not 6 weeks, i thought no kidding, thet said that he should have had his appointment at 6 weeks so i calmly explained that the receptionist wouldnt book me in any earlier!

on the charts Riley has been at the 25th centile for weight and the 75th for height and head cer. his dad and i are tall and slim so HV said not to worry. when he was weighed yesterday he had put on 1lb in 1.5 weeks but has dropped a line on the chart, to cut a long story short i have been told to suplement breastfeeding with 1-2 formula feeds a day which i dont really want to do so had panic and big cry

when i got home i was reading the red book and the HV has plotted his weight at 9lb when he is 9lb7oz, methinks that could be why he has dropped a line on their flipping charts! i am so annoyed, i had a horrible afternoon panicing that i have not been looking after my lo properly and trying to decide wether to give him formula or not!

sorry for the moaning and long post, needed to let off some steam, hope you all ok

xxx