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Hiding Pregnancy from Work

5 messages
24/08/2008 at 20:42

I am trying to hide my pregnancy from my employers for another month.  Trouble is I'm 14 weeks and already looking distinctly chunky.  

I have bought some slightly baggy tops but I normally wear tight fitting clothes - so baggy clothing screams 'I'm trying to hide something!'

I do not want to tell work as I'm due a promotion on 17 September and despite stringent discrimination laws, I am concerned they'll try and wriggle their way out of it.

How have other people successfully concealed their pregnancies? 

24/08/2008 at 21:51

Hi Loopy.

Have you had written confirmation that you are being promoted? If so this is a contract, and your employers wouldnt be able to back out of it just because you are pregnant.

While I understand your concerns, I would just tell work. As you say, there are stringent laws and, as long as you plan to return to work after maternity leave, I dont see why your boss would want to stop your promotion. They obviously think you are very capable at your job, and a valued member of the company.

It also seems that you are starting to show ealry, and that keeping it a secret for another month may not be possible anyway.

If you really want to hide it, could you book some annual leave so that youre not around for a couple of weeks? Or, and I know this will sound stupid, but just make it seem like youve gained some weight overall. Let your workmates see you having unhealthy treats or try to dress in a way that makes you look bigger.

Em x

25/08/2008 at 20:13

Hi Emma

Thanks for your reply.  Unfortunately there is nothing in writing that confirms that promotion.  It's a very small company and things are quite informal. 

I have also been verbally promised a lovely big pay rise from 25 November.  But I was quite sneaky and asked for proof in writing, saying I needed a loan and couldn't get one without proof of the increase.  So hopefully that's assured

I wouldn't want to discriminate myself, but the company is run by a lot of middle-aged and near-retirement men.  I don't think they will be pleased that I'm going on maternity leave, regardless of how good I am at the job. 

I have no holidays left to take this year, otherwise that would've been a very good suggestion! 

I guess I'll have to play the 'I'm getting fat' card.  The boss has been bringing in a lot of cakes lately...

Any other ideas would be welcome too!

25/08/2008 at 20:16

its getting colder now so you could start wearing chucky cardigans

eat a lot

oh and if anyone mentions anything get really upset like ur self conscious that u have put on weight! 

26/08/2008 at 01:46

Hi Loopy,

completely underatand why you would want to hide your pregnancy for a few more weeks, but, if at 14 weeks you are showing already, &, as you've already mentioned, dressing differently, then I'm afraid they'll probably have guessed already.  regardless of the company size, you are protected, assuming you've worked for them for some time.  if so, i'd tell them, because, as an employer, they are required by law to undertake a risk assessment of your job to ensure that neither you nor you baby are put at risk by the the job you do.  also, you are entitled to paid time off for scans, ante-natal appts etc, so why use your holiday for them.

if you know that one of the senior managers is particularly family orientated, then approach them, but be careful in concealing things hun, you never know what could cause a problem - at the end of the day, if they've told you you're in line for promotion, but pass you because of your baby, then they'll have one hell of a court battle on their hands, & quite often, the mere threat of such a battle will sort things out, but only if you've been up front & honest with them in the first place - at the end of the day, sod them & any promotion, you & your baby are far more important

Good luck

amanda & abi xx

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