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Miscarriage

7 messages
06/12/2008 at 15:30
I found out i had misscarried a few days ago, and i was 22 weeks pregnant. And my ex has been very distant with me now. Its like people are doubting my pregnancy. I now feel like i have no one. Im 18 nearly 19, an my worlds falling apart from my feet an its like i cant stop it, things are going from bad to worse. Ive tried speaking to my ex but although he says its not my falut an hes not in a mood with me, it still feels like it is. I feel like i cant forgive myself for whats happened. Is there anyone that has gone through or is going through the same thing? and what can i do? I feel like i dont even want to try an have a baby again i feel so guilty I didnt have any REAL signs i was going to miscarry. I love my ex so much, and i also grew a strong bond with my baby, id prepaired so much for him, and planned a lot. Im scared that im going to go down a really bad road. I felt that talking to people about it would help, but i find it worse saying it out loud, but writing to this it feels easier, as there may be someone out there that has experienced a similar thing to me.
06/12/2008 at 15:49

To lose a baby is a very difficult thing, and something no one should ever have to go through. People deal with things very differently.

Sit down with your ex and plan the baby's funeral, it'll give you both something to focus on and it'll give you both some closure and then you can talk about where you go from there.

People can't doubt your pregnancy at this stage its not something somebody can hide/fake.

Another baby will never take the place of this baby, and just because this baby is no longer bound for this earth doesn't mean you should automatically want another one. You are very young and there will be a time when you are ready to have another baby.

06/12/2008 at 15:52
Thank you for the advice
06/12/2008 at 15:55
you're welcome. Sorry for your loss.
07/12/2008 at 08:26
fuzzylox
i lost my first at 20weeks and i too had no idea this had happened until i went for my scan @21weeks this was 4 years ago and as much as it hurts you at the time the pain will fade away you will never forget your little baby but you will move on i now have 3 children and another on the way i wasnt going to be happy until that empty feeling i had was filled again but were all different
you really need to talk to your ex and it will halp when you put your baby at rest,that was the hardest for me having to put my own child to rest when you think you will go before them but it did help alot you need to say goodbye but things do take time and you need to give your self time to recover talking is always best
no one can fake a preg that far gone and im sure everyone is upset at the minute
when my little boy died i went to the grave every day and cried i got told that everytime i cried my tears put the light out that my son had and he didnt like the dark also he is sad that im sad and he wants me to be happy, that i didnt need to go to the grave as he wasnt there his body was but his sole was with me from that day to now i have never cried for him and i only go grave on birthday xmas etc
we are all different but might help if you went to see a medium it helped me so much and she told me things she no way would have guessed
stay strong time will heal
yas
07/12/2008 at 14:06
thank you, im sorry for your loss also. That really helps too. I have spoken with my ex an now we are arranging the service. I am also thinking of speaking with a medium as i think that may put my mind at ease also. Thanks so much, this helped a lot.
07/12/2008 at 15:09

fuzzyfox i only went to see medium as my mom told me it would help and i found it did but we are all different and deal with things is our own ways if you do go to one make sure he/she is good and look at there profile before hand a really good one wont tell you a charge (price) all they will ask is if you want to make a donation you can and the donation is normally to help another charaty not for them selfs she told me people who charge for the service are doing it for money only not cause they have a gift to help others she was very good, she told me his name where he was at rest,what was on the grave she told me lost my boy before even saying anything and other things too, she never asked any questions and all she wanted me to do was write what she was saying down once she had finished then i could ask questions but only once she had finished, she told me  my next child would be a girl and by c-section and her name would begin with the letter A, 2 months later i was pregnant hospital told me a BOY i had c-section and she was a GIRL and her name is Alisha just amazing

hope you find a good one might take a while to find and hope it helps like mine did

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