To Know or Not to Know....

Hi,

Got my 20 week scan on Wednesday and I was adament I didn't want to know the sex of the baby and wanted a surprise. BUT, now it's getting closer I'm driving myself crazy and now I want to know.

Part of me knows it will be the best surprise I could ever imagine as it's the only surprise in the world no one can spoil or a secret no one can tell.

Then the other part thinks, I don't want to know to tell people, I just want to know so when I can feel the baby kicking I can picture a little boy or girl in there.

My OH says he wants a surprise and I can find out but if I do, I can't tell him.

What do you think? Did anyone regret finding out?

Katie xoxo

Hi Katie, I have three boys and only found out with the middle one. It totally took the excitement and suprise out of it and I did regret finding out. Obviously you dont mind what you are having but at that point I already had a boy and really wanted a girl, I could not help but feel disappointed. It ruined the whole thing for me, when he was born he was already named, already had his clothes the only thing we didn't know was what he looked like. When I had my third all the excitement was there again. I am planning a fourth and will not find out what im having again.

Katie, I had my wee boy Ryan on 22nd November- he's great. He was a surprise, in fact i thought i was having a girl the whole time, how wrong was I, but what a lovely surprise he was. I did want to find out before, but decided just to wait, and i am so glad i didn't find out.

 Remember though, its up to you to decide, but the surprise is lovely.

Also i met a girl in hospital, who had a girl, but had been told she was having a boy!! She had bought in so much for a boy, and was going to have to take it all back!

 Good luck, and do what feels right.

Ange xxx

Katie, with my first (who is now 14) it wasn't really common to find out and it never occurred to me to ask.  Oddly though I thought the entire time that I was having a boy and I was - and was thrilled.

I'm pregnant now with my second who is due on Christmas Eve and at first I didn't really want to know but my hubby (my second one of those too!) had found out when he had his daughter (who is 7) and couldn't stand not knowing.  By the time i got to the scan I really wanted to know too, so we found out, and I'm delighted to say I'm having another boy.  I haven't at any point felt disappointed that we found out.  We're still not 100% on a name so still have naming him to look forward to.  Also, for a while, we didn't tell anyone (and still not everyone knows) and it was lovely just having that special information between ourselves, our very special secret.  I've loved talking to my little boy and wouldn't change a thing (we've also enjoyed buying things for him but haven't gone over the top though we're pretty sure its a boy, if its a girl she's got a canny willy - we got a scan pic of his tackle!!).  I would say though that if you find out and your other half doesn't it will be hard for you to keep it to yourself, with all the best intentions in the world, at some point you'll refer to the baby as him or her inadvertently.

Best of luck with your pregnancy whatever you decide.

J x

Hi Katie

My hubby and I had a long (heated) debate on this topic a couple of years ago when we started trying for a family. He's in the 'wants to know camp' I was definitely in the 'wait for the big day camp'. He feels it will help him bond sooner if he knows the sex beforehand and can prepare mentally for a son or daughter. It wont make any difference for me knowing; I'm just impatient!

We agreed that for the first we wont find out beforehand but will for subsequent babies. There's no way my Hubby would be able to keep the sex to himself, he wouldn't deliberately tell me, but I know he'd not be able to stop himself saying he or she. I'm with you though - one minute I want to know the next I don't. As it's just my impatience urging to me know, I'm gonna resist and wait. After reading what Nicola said I'm convinced it's the right thing for me to do.

Good luck with the scan, whatever you decide?

Bev xx

Hi Katie,

 I am having my scan on Friday and we are hopefully going to find out, if Blob cooperates! I honestly don't mind if it's a boy or a girl as I am not a girl person so it will be dressed in blue and trousers no matter what it is. I really would like to know just so I can say he/she, we've already chosen a couple of names but we're going to keep it a secret so that will be a surprise when Blob is born.

 I hope everything is going well for you and I hope everything goes well on Wed xx 

i didnt want to know the sex at my 21week scan so when she asked do you want to know i said no but after the scan i really wished i had found out, i was 100% sure i was having a boy but really wanted a girl, then at 31weeks my midwife said i had to have a growth scan as was measuring bit bigger than i should be and i did find out the sex and i'm having a little girl so i am so happy i found out coz now i can go and buy pink stuff to go with the cream and yellow stuff i had to buy when didnt know the sex! i am now 33weeks and 5days and getting very excited about meeting chelsey although the name might change when she is here!

good luck and let us all know if you do find out the sex

Hi Everyone,

Just wanted to let you know I had my scan on Wednesday and...............we didn't find out. And I'm really pleased I didn't. She asked before scanning if I wanted to know and I said no (well done me - great willpower!) and then when she was scanning said it was so clear she could see but didn't give anything away.

The experience was amazing and now I can't wait to meet little Bo!

Thanks for all your advice ladies.

Katie xoxo

Well done katie, it is so hard not to find out when your that excited but it will be so much more exciting when your baby is born. I know some people like to find out to get prepared and it does get hard when you dont know what you are buying for but it will be the best suprise you ever get.

Hi Katie, like I said on the due May thread you were so good not to find out. I said before we started if we could be told the sex but to be honest, it was quite obvious we are having a little boy! OH notice it straight away, but the sonograph said that it may not be although it did look suspious, we got another look later in the scan and it was a definite! I'm not disappointed that we found out, but it would be nice to see another scan of the little fella again before his arrival. Oh well just have to treasure the memory and pics until we get to mee him.

 Becs and Blob xx