I'm not married although in my mind I class us as husband and wife without the gold band and the certificate!
Getting married was never as important to me as it was to my OH as his family are religious and mine aren't. Having said that we both come from homes where our parents are still happily married although this is my Mum and Dad's second marriage for both of them, I have a half sister who got married young and is still happy with her husband and 2 kids.
We've been together over 5 years and have lived together for almost 2, I had a miscarriage just before we bought this house and although this was horrible it brought us closer together and made us realise what the important things are. We got engaged around the same time we found out I was pregnant with this one, and we will get married in the future although I couldn't say when as the mortgage and a baby will have eaten up our savings due to my works less than generious mat leave pay!
It has become more important to me personally since being pregnant to get married eventually, not for religious reasons but for us to all have the same surname which is why baby will have my partners and not mine. I think that in the long run with school etc. it will be much less confusing! Having said that we may even end up having another baby before we actually get around to tying the knot, personally i'd run away to Gretna with close family and friends but I know that my OH would ideally like a big family doo.
I don't really think that it matters in todays society whether you are married, co-habiting, in a relationship or a single parent, so long as you feel happy and secure it's personal choice
My husband and I got married two years ago and I found out I was expecting Freya on our 1st wedding anniversary it was such a precious gift!
Being Married does make you more commited to someone, I thought I couldn't love Adam anymore than I did but when we were married, I did, its hard to explain if you haven't done it but you really do feel different, its not just about a ring and a certificate!!
On a seperate issue, when I was having the 20 week scan my notes had me down as miss not mrs when the sonographer asked what the surname would be I said oh it is Bates they've just got my title down wrong, she totally changed and was more friendly and treated me better (before she was a tad miserable!!) might have been a coinsidence but thats the impression I got, prejudice is always going to be against people who choose not to get married or have happy 'accidents' its as shame but I feel more secure being married amd raising a family xxx
I had been with my partner for 7 years before i feel pregnant and engaged for 2. We wanted to start a family and did not ever consider not being married as an issue. We have a loving and stable relationship and felt that this was the most important thing for bringing our child into this world. For us personally as much as i cant wait to get married (but i'm in no rush as i'm only planning on doing it the once so want it to be perfect ) but i dont think this would of had any effect on the way our daughter is brought up or how she feels as she is well loved and looked after.
I was born out of wedlock ad my partner was born in wedlock but both of us have loving families that support us in what we do so i feel no different to him being a wedlock child.
As long as you are happy with your own personal situation i dont think this is a big thing in our society any more.
Become a fan of ThinkBaby
Follow us on twitter
Other Immediate Media Sites
Our eCommerce Platform
Chat & Share
Win & Free
© Immediate Media Company Ltd 2011. This website is owned and published by Immediate Media Company Limited.