forum
You are looking at: Home : Forum : Relationships and sex

IS MY BOYFRIENDGOING OFF ME?

4 messages
18/09/2009 at 09:17

Hi everyne. i dont know whether im being pathetic but this is just the way i feel. ill start by telling you how old me n my partner are as i feel at this age i shouldnt be having these problems. im 23 and partner 24. well ....basically i am a lil selfconscious due to things being said to me in the past (although i think i have changed a lot and feel a lil better bout myself sometimes) also i have polands syndrome which knocks me majorly..i have had surgery but since i have been breastfeedin the size difference in my breasts is really noticeable. Also,,after having my baby 11 weeks ago im a bit down about my body,,,im not fat but i dont have the body i used to have. So...the problem is i think my boyfriend is not that into me. sex is a problem,,we dont really have time because of baby but we find the time as i feel it is important in a relationship and i understand a mans need for sex...but although we dont have sex as much aswe used to... i always suggest "some adult time" together..and on a couple of occasions he has made excuses..and it upset me a lil as i have never ever been turned down...i thought every man would jump at the idea of sex. also,,just to keep a lil fun and passion in the relationship,,,,i suggested that he liked some melted chocolate off my cleavage after HE smeared it on me....again he made excuses not to "im full"  again...i thought he would have jumpd at the chance. i tried talking to him about it but he just said i was been stupid an d after that i feel like when we do have sex its sometimes so i dont go on at him or that he simply needs to "empty his balls". Another thing..he is  always swapping sexy pictures and videos on his phone with his mates ..which i just think ok...hes justtrying to look good in front of his mates. now i havediscovered that he has been watching porn on the computer behind my back. i dont understand y he has to do that when he has me...n if its because he dont get enough action....y turn me down? ive confronted him about this but he has denied it even tho i no he has as itwas on our history....n it wasnt me. i feel really ..i dunno...ugly i spose as i feel hed rather look at other women. another thing,,when i was pregnant...i found out he spent approx £200 on a night out,,,some of which in a strip club...he told me he oonly  paid £10 for one dance,,,,but where did the other £190 go??? hetrieddenying that too...but what really hurt me was that he came home that night wanting sex. with me..after another women ad turned him on. please give me your opinion ..its killing me.

p.s  i dont "think" hes cheatin i justthink hes not into me n maybe just with me for baby

xxx

18/09/2009 at 09:40

Hiya Nicky

Poor you hun, sounds like you're having a bad time at the moment. Try to remember that you have just had a baby and the changes physically and emotionally are really draining. I expect your hormones are still all over the place. I think your partner is probably being a bit insensitive and not giving you the support he should be, but we need to remember that he has had a huge change in his life too as he's just become a father. I .have read in a lot of my baby books that a lot of men are scared of hurting their partner or pushing them to have sex or simply just don't feel like it. I'm afraid i think that watching porn is just part of being a man, though can totally understand why you're feeling so upset as i would to.

As for the strip[ club thing, i wouldn't like that either. But, he did come home to YOU and want sex with YOU.

I really think you guys need to sit and have a proper talk about everything, how you feel about your body, sex etc and he needs to open up and tell you how he's feeling since the birth of your baby.

Try to relax hun and give yourselves time. Having a baby is a huge upheaval. I'm sure he's not lost interest in you and that he's with you because he loves you and your baby. You just need to find time to talk as boyfriend and girlfriend, husband and wife (sorry can't remember if you're married or not) and see each other as people again and not just mummy and daddy. It may take time hun, but hang in there things will get better. In the mean time vent all you want on this forum, the girls i've met on here are amazing.

Thinking of you xxx

21/11/2012 at 11:58

Is it possible, that you feel this way because of taking some drugs? When I use phentermine diet pills I did'n want any sex at all((

24/04/2013 at 19:25

Asha88 go to hell with your add of Phentermine.

This girl has a problem!

First Name:
Last Name:
Nickname:
Email:
Security Image:
Enter the code shown:

I agree to the site's Terms and Conditions & Code of Conduct:
email image
4 messages
Sign me up!
What is the MadeForMums network?

Tell me about...
MadeForMums
Thinkbaby
Practical Parenting
Junior

Take a peek inside this month's magazine
FREE Baby Flannel plus FREE Thomas and Friends book
Find your nearest stockist here