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porn hell

6 messages
26/01/2011 at 14:29

Hi everyone, I'm almost 33 wks pregnant and anaemic so getting tired lots and I'm feeling so low and upset after finding out my husband has been watching porn on the computer-again.

He did it a while back, maybe a few months ago and i went mad. He promised he wouldn't do it again as he knew he hurt me badly, but hey what did i find in the history from Monday!

 I feel like i'm not getting any support from him, had a really bad time with sickness at the start and now getting breathless and tired because of the anaemia. All he seems to care about is that the contents of his trousers are kept happy!

Plus we did actually make love that day even though i didn't really want to and i think he watched it afterwards when me and our son were playing downstairs.

I already felt insecure because i'm getting pretty big now and he told me he liked my curves when pregnant, so why watch a load of skinny women having sex then? Also the fact that i think he watched it after we made love makes me think i really don't do it for him now. What's it gonna be like after babba's born?

I really dunno what to do, he's acting like it doesn't matter and that i'm being stupid, but it really hurts me and he doesn't seem to care!

We've been married for 3 years and i feel like there is little left in our relationship now, anyone in a similar boat?

01/02/2011 at 08:51

hmmmm, i went thru this before i got pregnant, and it was horrid enough to kno that altho we had sex a lot, he still felt the need to watch it etc...

you say he is acting like it doesnt matter, but it does.

he is hurting you, and making you feel like sh*t and you dont deserve that, especially being pregnant etc.

 i feel like a whale, i am 39+1, my body is purple with stretch marks and i have put on sooooo much weight its untrue. my husband went a bit "off" a couple of weeks ago, and wen i broached him about it, he was just trying not to make me feel un comfortable etc as when he did try it on wit me i pushed him away. then when he stopped trying i felt like he didnt want me.

pregnancy is hard enough tho without being made to feel like your not good enough, id talk to him again, because to be perfectly honest he is being really out of order with you.

01/02/2011 at 12:08

Thanks for your reply. I have taken drastic action now, made him move the computer downstairs and changed password. He can only now use a password which allows him restricted access as i've set parental settings. He didn't argue too much as he knows he was in the wrong.

He had days of me not cooking his tea and making him sleep on the sofa, not ironing his uniform or making him lunch for work and i think he realised he hurt me badly. He was being really nice to me and kept saying sorry all the time.

We've been getting along better now and he assures me he still finds me attractive(hard to believe when i look like a house). We have actually made love 2 nights running which is unheard of lately, but it was pretty good i have to admit.

He has been pretty much a model husband after it all came to blows and i threw a glass across the kitchen and got really upset, looks like putting your foot down works. Can't say he'll never lokk at stuff like that again, but i've done all i can to prevent it i hope.

01/02/2011 at 12:53

glad your getting along =)

and glad he has made an effort with you

04/02/2011 at 04:51

Hi Lolly,

I'm glad things are getting better and he's making an effort with you.

I completely understand how you feel! I've argued over the same thing with my boyfriend in the past - and they honestly don't see it as a problem, they don't realise how it makes us feel and it's as if they don't really care how it makes us feel!...but at the same time I didn't want to tell him "you can't watch that!" coz he'd just not listen. It took a while to explain and get it to sink in how much it hurt me but if he REALLY wanted to use it, he had to tell me about it and not hide it, which i think helped our relationship in the long run & occasionally we'd watch a little together - not for everyone, I know, but now he very, very rarely watches it & he tells me if he's going to. I liked that we were at least able to compromise.

So....I've still got about 7 weeks left and the belly's getting bigger everyday...as for feeling attractive?!...I haven't for quite some time now. My skin is bad with spots & blackheads & my boyfriend is clearly put off by the bump....sex stopped for us about 4/5 weeks ago...feels like longer. He doesn't talk about it unless i bring it up and he is kind about the topic - very careful with his words not to upset me but the lack of intimacy & the closeness is making me feel so unattractive & unwanted & i miss him.

I've tried to warn him too, that it could be quite some time after the baby's born until he gets anywhere near me again....

.....men!!...

 enough of my ranting on....hope you ladies are well and good luck Emma...not long for you now!

x x x x

23/09/2011 at 11:51

hey lolly am happy that you have made an effort to make him realise his faults and he accepts it and apologies and your husband loves you a lot dear.....

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