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Sleepovers at grandparents - when?

8 messages
01/12/2007 at 16:57

Quick question for you all.

Baby (and grandchild) number 1 should be here is a few weeks time. 

I know this question is a bit premature - but.... when is a good time to start sleepovers at Grandmas/Granddads? At around 2 years? When weaned and potty trained? When they can make their needs clear?  When a fully fledged toddler?  When myself and my partner feel ready? - I have looked at a few forums and their are sooo many views!  My partners parents live close by and have raised the question about sleepovers already.

I am not against the idea and don't have a problem with it - as I am sure we will appreciate the break in due course! - its just I feel during year one is too soon.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Eve

01/12/2007 at 17:54

Eve,

I am nine weeks pregnant with my first baby so I don't really have a lot of advice in this as I am not experienced however I would say that you can start the sleepovers as early as you want, i.e. if you wanted, when it's a couple of months old.

Remember, if you do go for it around the two year old stage, the child will be very clingy to you and it will take the child a lot of time to settle there with grandma and granddad.  I'm not just talking a couple of hours, a couple of weeks!  If they are already offering, they are not going to be bothered about getting up in the night, changing dirty nappies, baby sick etc.  If they did not want to do this then they would not have offerred so soon.

I would say, start as early as you think is appropriate but certainly do not wait too long as you will never want to let go and the baby will not settle for a while.  Remember, it is a break and I know for sure that i'll be taking up the offer from my husband's parents.  They already have a grandchild and they have her stay for the weekend once a month and she started when she was about six months old; she is now three and still staying over for the weekend and she loves it.  It gives the parents a chance to have some time on their own the way it used to be before the baby came along and also, you will have a full night's sleep and be able to do things you would not normally be able to do because of baby being around, i.e. a quick trip to the shops.  We all know it's not going to be quick when our babies come along.  We'll have to get it wrapped up warm, into the pram etc etc.  Arrrggghhh!  I can't wait though can you?!

Hope I've helped and best of luck with your upcoming birth.

Jo.x.

01/12/2007 at 20:18

My lo stayed over at my mum's on Monday, it was my birthday, so we wanted a few drinks and haven't been drunk together for so long and very much needed! Lo is almost 16 weeks, and at the moment doesn't get seperation anxiety, so I feel it was perfect timing.

Obviously it is so up to you though, if you are not happy leaving your little one, then DON'T do it, you will have a poor night and isn't worth the stress.... I left lo for the first time when he was 10 days, it was with his daddy, whom I trust with my life, I'm personally so glad that I did it then cos I think it does get harder. My partner and I started to have lunch dates, cinema and food during the day and James has been going to my mum's about every 2 weeks for an afternoon. My friend has a 9week old and she has NEVER left her lo, she keeps making plans with people, but cancelling cos she just doesn't want to leave her.

I would never let my lo stay at my in-laws, they can come to our house after a phone call, (MAD) granny rights and all. I don't like them, but that is a whole other story.....

 Good luck with the upcoming event! You will be surprised at how much you can love something and how the loves grows every day!

x

02/12/2007 at 10:46

It's probably when you feel ready. My first stayed out at 5 months and but  2nd child has never stayed out and he's two in feb. I think it's the 2nd child thing. People are ok to have one but really don't like to have two children.

05/12/2007 at 21:39
I wish I had this problem, no-one will have mine lol. Its true what R davis says, it wasn't a problem when I had 1 baby but now I have 3 its impossible. On the very rare occasion we have gone away my mam has come to my house. You will know yourself when the time is right for your baby to stay out overnight.  
06/12/2007 at 04:38
So, whilst you feel a little scared make the most of it..whilst you have the chance.lol
06/12/2007 at 11:39

Hi there,

(2 weeks to go today..!)

Thanks for the responses.  I guess it is when we both feel ready. 

My MIL will be having the baby one day a week when I return to work anyway, so it wont be a new experience for baby.

The other issue is fitting it in with my partners shift pattern - as realistically he will only get 2 proper mornings and bedtimes with baby - at the weekend - so we will have to work round that as I don't want him to miss out... a week night it is then!

05/07/2008 at 16:42
Im 21 weeks pregnant the now its hard to say when the time may be right, I know i want my child to be close to both grand parents, i was never close to my mums parents although i love them very much there is no bond there, however with my dads mum everyone thought she was my mum cause i stayed there pretty much all the time, think my mum didnt have the option my gran just wanted me there all the time. My situation as it stands just now is my dad is no longer with us so its just my mum and her partner and then my inlaws my dad has cancer and may not be here to see his only grandchild so i think i would wait a few months then try to maybe have alternate weekends.

I know its hard to say when your not a mum but i just feel thats the way i want to do it
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