Potty training?

Hi,
When should you start potty training? I thought it was between 18 months and 3 years but a friend's mum was shocked that my 19 month old son was still in nappies?! Worried me a bit! He's just started making signs of being ready but only very recently. Is he behind? Has she maybe forgotten how old children usually are when potty trained?

Hi Zoe,
opinions on this vary wildly and I think really it's up to you and whether you think your child is ready to make the change. Your friend's mum isn't remembering incorrectly, she will have been of a time when everyone used the old-fashioned terry nappies - and probably not brilliant washing machines - so nappies were a chore you wanted to be done with quickly. My mum had seven children and some of us are as little as 14 months apart, but there were never two of us in nappies at any one time as we all were potty trained between 12 months and 18 months, pretty much as soon as we could walk as I remember.

As disposable nappies came on the scene mums tended to leave their tots longer in nappies, as there was less impetus to make the switch so it's quite common for children of up to two years and even beyond to still be in nappies nowadays. Whether that's a good thing or not is another, probably unanswerable, question.

One school of thought holds that those potty trained very early (before 18months) may develop bed-wetting problems. All I can say in that in our test case of seven none of us did.

So, basically, do your own thing, whatever you think is right for you and your baby, but don't be surprised if older mums remember things being done differently.
Hope that sets your mind at rest.

It has thanks Maria! I think I will just keep my eye on the signs and do it when I feel he's ready!

Thanks again for the advice!

I don't think there's any rule to when it's right. I think there can be such social pressure on parents to do thigs like this at or by a certian time, and this pressure is usually unfair.

That probably doesn't help you, Zoe, I'm sorry.

It has helped thank you Shelley! I feel a huge sense of relief! From now on I'm just going to let my little ones do things in their own time! What's the rush hey?!

Hi Zoe,

i think the most childcare comments I've had from my mum and women of her generation has been about potty training. Well, that and sleeping routines. I think they're obsessed! Everyone has their own ideas about how to go about it and when, whether to bribe or not etc.

I nearly died laughing when my mum was round and I was encouraging Michael to use the potty. "No, leave the doodoo in the potty Michael my love" Doodoo? Priceless!
I'd totally forgotten she called it that, having not heard my mum refer to pooh for a very long time.

yes my mother in law kept going on at me to potty train my little boy but he just was not interesed we finally started 2 weeks before his 3rd birthday and it was done in a few weeks with no stress and we dont get any accidents where as friend whose son is 5 months younger than mine started earlier and had real problems with him weting himself at play school.
so i say leave it until they are ready less stress that way.
only problem i have now is he stil does not go throuh the night dry a common occurence with boys my health visitor said something to do with hormones but we are just starting again before we start school and has been dry for 6 days so far its a record good luck

hi. my little boy has now been in pants for about 4 weeks. i left it longer as he was so differcult wit the potty. he wouldnt go near it and in the end he would get himself in such a sate it took me nearly half an hopur to calm him down.i think he could sence my worry. i the end i decided to wait a couple of months much to my mothers disappointed and my friends would say 'isn't that boy out of nappies yet' (that used to get me so so mad)
one day i decided no more nappies, didnt say a thing to him when i put his pants on in the moring and juat said to him if he needed a wee to tell mummmy and we would use a potty.
he was like duck to water.only accdients are when he as nursery and is to busy to ask for a wee. now on the misions to get him dry at night
my advise is to wait til your child is ready and shows the signs that she is.
good luck and not to worry.

its a case of waiting until the childs ready.
when my son was at nursery he ws the youngest in his age group but the first to be toilet trained, as our son had started all the other parents with similar aged children then felt the need to rush there children through before they were reay.
we skipped the potty and invested in a childs toilet seat that fits inside the normal one, this means that he's not become dependent on a potty and will use a normal toilet if were out, all be it with a little help.

I didn't potty train either of my 4 children and none of them pee their pants now! They're 9, 6, and 4 year-old twins.

I honestly believe that children will follow their parents lead if you just leave them to their own devices but allow them to see mummy and daddy use the "potty". Always put a trainer seat on the toilet when not in use and eventually they'll ask to try. It worked for me and I know others the same method has worked for.

A little girl I used to child-mind was nagged into using the potty by her mother. Instead, she'd go out onto my patio and do her number 2s there! Not very nice I can assure you but it was undoubtedly caused by the stress her mother was creating.

Sue