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terrible twos

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01/01/2009 at 23:10

HI my little girl isn't yet quite 2 but she is certainly acting like it! i'm at the end of my tether with her. She is the 3rd of 3 and is really stubbon. She won;t eat her dinner, refuses to go to bed, if i say no she does it anyway and just grins. I don;t know what to do, i have tried ignoring it putting her on the satairs and even to bed but nothing seems to work. If i say no or punish her she hits me whilst screaming no! i don;t know where the behavour comes from as i try not to shout, and i don;t hit my kids, they older two get sent to the stairs for being naughty. She is a bundle of energy and even if we don;t let her nap during the day she goes to bed rediculously late and is up very early. She is teething at the mo as well, and i am hoping and preying that alot of this is due to that. i left for work tonight at 9.30 and she was still up! She screams if we put her in her bed, which is unfair on her sisters as they all share the same room. She is in a toddler bed, so she constantly gets out and comes to find me or her dad and we can put her back to bed for hours before she finally screams herself to sleep. We have even tried staying in the room with her but she still screams.

 Sorry about the rant but i feel awful as i feel i'm doing something wrong. AThe other 2 were fine and we've treated them all the same.

Any help appreciated! Louise xx

02/01/2009 at 14:20
Hi Louise, I have never had a 2 year old BUT my sister has 4 and they have all certinatly had their fair share of this behaviour!

I watch supernanny episodes alot, and the *terrible 2's* is when the child starts to test his or her boundaries, how far can they go until they get their own way, what will happen if they try to stay up after bedtime etc etc..

Now..how to deal with it and keep you all happy..best thing to do is stay calm..the more her behaviour effects you, she will notice and understand that what she is doing is getting a reaction, if she seems pleased, its a reaction she wants.

i'm a first time mum, so all these problems ahead will hit me at some point which is why i watch these kinda programmes lol to be prepared haha!

i do know that giving a child an option to their expectations doesnt help, as a parent, you know best.

its all about keeping your calm, when she screams to get out of bed dont talk to her just put her back in, completely ignoring the bad behaviour and praising the good, like the next morning go to her level and say well done for staying in bed what a good girl etc etc and she will eventually learn that going to bed at bed time is how it goes

if she keeps getting out of bed just keep on putting her back in, ignoring the tantrum..it maybe emotionally exausting for you and your family but she will eventually settle.

hope i helped..atleast a little lol good luck! x
05/01/2009 at 15:14

Hello Louise

My son will be turning 3 this january and sometimes he carries fits like this. Not eating his food, jumping around, doing what he pleases. So i make sure if he does something that he is not suppose to i take away a "toy", "story" or activity and make him earn it back. I try my best to firm!!  TRY you BEST not to give in to her, hitting you is a big NO NO....

If you don't mind me asking is she like this with her father aswell. Sometimes i feel that kids tend to act out more towards the parent that tends to be easier to "control", if you know what i mean. My son wouldn't dare continue a fit after his father tells him to quiet down...

Good Luck and stay strong, these times can be draining.

 STEFFY

XOXO

07/01/2009 at 10:32

Hi Louise

 Contratulations Mrs, hows married life? i have not been on here for ages, anyway tom is the same, i have been putting him to bed at 7pm, when he cries i start at 5 min intervals and go up to his room, i do not speak to him, i pick him up, put him back into bed, tuck him in and leave the room,

I then space it out to 7min, 9mins and so on, he does finally get the message and will stay in bed, the trick is not to react! there great at reading you like a book! lol... little beggars that they are, so small but so stressful! lol....

 about the hitting or screaming, i immediatley tell Tom 'No, bad Boy' pick him up and sit him on the bottom step in the hall and i go back into lounge, then continue talking to the girls or watching tv, when he comes back in, i tell him to say sorry, and he does!

its just a case of repeating your actions, over and over and over and over and over! lol again until they realise.......

Everything your doing is probably correct just gotta keep doing it im afraid, lol.....

there just growing and developing there little personalities, he will eventually stop! I promise! lol.... probably around the time  he moves out and gets married! lol....

29/01/2009 at 23:56

Hi Louise,

 I am also a mum of 3, with my youngest just under 2.... It could have been me writing the post you wrote!  At least its not just me

 My other two kids are pretty well behaved, but my youngest is just such mischief.... Constantly turning the t.v. off when his brothers are trying to watch it, hitting his brothers, taking everything out of the kitchen 'plastics' cupboard, basically anything which he knows annoys anyone lol!

 I try and ignore this behaviour as much as possible (not always easy when trying to cook dinner, lay the table, tidy away all the toys and keep everyone happy at once!), and I have to admit that I have given up on trying to keep him in his own bed for the time being - quite often I leave him in bed with Daddy and I go into his bed or onto the sofa - anything for a half decent nights sleep lol....

Just try and remember, although some days can seem really long and hard work, they grow up pretty quickly and it wont be long until they are onto the next phase!

28/02/2009 at 20:06

Hi Louise,

 I haven't been on for ages either but remember you from the orignal due March 2007 thread.  I had my son in March 2007 and recently he has begun hitting me and screaming when he doesn't get his own way.  It just feels like he is really really grumpy all the time at the moment. 

 We don't have any problems at bed time but his eating is driving us nuts.  He just won't eat anything - he wont even try the food that we put down in front of him.  His diet consists of bread, yoghurt, those organic fruit bars, rich tea biscuits and rice pudding.  Recently we have been making him sit at the table wth us even if he doesn't eat his food which is awful because he justs crems through the meal.  After my hgusband and I are finished we all get down from the table and he gets nothing for tea.  He just screams and screams begging for a biscuit from the cupboard.  I hate it, I just hate his sobbing and my husband tells me to just give him something that he wants but this is making the problem worse I think.  My son's grandparents help with childcare and also basically give him what he wants all the time.  When I say something to them they simply say that they are allowed to spoil him because they are his grandparents and that's what grandparents do.  I think that his grumpy mood has a lot to do with his diet.  can anyone suggest anything else that might get him eating some fruit and veg?

13/06/2009 at 00:31
Hi emma, yeah i was on the march thread! Kyrie is still anightmere! She is ok for other people who look after her, she's only naughty for us, which in a way i suppose is good! We are now going through a phase of screaming and throwing herself around! She is the same for both me and Stu adn we are both at the end of out tethers!
Emma, we keep a fruit bowl on our kitchen table thats always full of fruit. If the kids are hungry they are only allowed fruit between meal times. If Kyrie doesn't eat her dinner she doesn;t get anything else and no pudding, which is an awful 30 mins while her sisters are eating theres!
Your right not to give in as this just makes him think if he goes on enough he'll get it in the end. But i think you really need to speak to the grandparents, yeah it is their right to spoil him, but in a positive way! maybe suggest they could treat him with a magazine or a box of raisins or even a trip to the park! and to imit the treats to say once a week and on their terms and not when he =decides it's time!. At the end of the day your his parents and you have the right to say if you think they are spoiling him to much!
24/08/2009 at 20:58

HI , I aso have a daughter, Summer who is 2 1/2. She is the youngest of 3 and the only girl. She also sounds identical to you daughter!  I don;t know whether it's girls or not as my eldest two are boys.  I personally think it's because she has 2 older siblings with whom she copies and learns more than she otherwise would . When she was  1 1/2 she turned around and informed me that 'she no longer required a nappy!!) boys used them til 4 she stopped and never had an accident since. My only advice (not very helpful) is to be thankful the other two weren't like it (i have friends who have 3 and each one was like it!)   and to remember that she will grow out of it, I now treat Summer like an adult and talk to her like one and if she screams I tell her that I will not talk or look at her until she stops then Ileave the room, if she hits me I tell her how much it hurt and feign crying then leave the room. She has started to calm down and will apologise s just keep with it . Oh and a good chat on forum always helps!!!! (OR lockingyourself in loo)

tracy

10/12/2009 at 10:52

oh how times change! lol.... i originally replied to Louise's post way back in Jan! lol... my son has turned into the anti christ! honestly........

he shouts, screams, tells people that he doesnt like them, hits the girls, destroyed his bedroom by drawing all over the walls, ripping posters of the walls etc etc etc etc.

gets out of bed in the morning in a foul mood, telling us all that he doesnt like us and to go away,

but then he is so loving at times but then! lol.... it starts all again at approx, 60mph, he runs climbs screams,

help anyone! help me! lol.......

if i was to take the advice ignore the bad and praise the good, he would be ignored all day! any ideas?

thanks mags

15/12/2009 at 18:32

Hi mags,

My daughter is only 11 months and she is a bit of a madam already.

I also have two very naughty nephews who are 3 and 5, I have learnt the best thing to do is persevere and always try and find the reason behind the action. When your son does something naughty ask him why he has done it. Also the  naughty step/area definately does work. But whatever you do be consistent and dont give in to bad behaviour and eventually you will get through it and see improvments.

One to also try is the behaviour chart and use rewards, make sure he has plenty to do and that you are spending lots of quality time with him even if it is doing chores like hoovering you can make it fun.

If he continues to draw all over the walls in his room and rips posters down then dont comment on it and give him the attention he is after or even when he makes a deliberate mess just clean it up quietly and he will soon get bored. 

Hope some of this helps and remember he is testing your boundaries and learning what he can and cant get away with atm so show him that you are boss lol

x

28/04/2010 at 22:31

Hi Mags and everyone, well i thought the twos were bad, we have now reached the terrible threes and omg they are even worse. I feel all i ever do is tell Kyrie off, like you mags, i'd have to ignore her all day if i'm ignoring the bad stuff, and i'm pretty sure the kitten wouldn't last the whole day. Today i caught Kyrie in her bedroom where she had put the kitten into the wash basket and wouldn't let her out. After making her apologise to Daisy the Kitten i the found her trying to stuff poor Daisy into her play fridge. Kyrie now has arms full of scratches which dont seem to bother her, but what are preschool going to say!!??

Does anyone else feel like talking to their children is like talking to a brick wall, i ask kyrie to stop doing something and she carries on like i have said nothing at all, even when i go to her and give her another oprtunity to stop she purses her lips and carries on then after i have put her on the stairs for not doing as she has been told she apologises straight away and thinks it means she doesn;t have to have her ounishment. The whole poinmt of the stairs is that they have time out and not attention but i have to constantly put her back on the stairs again. After the daisy and the fridge insident of today i put her in her bedroom and closed her stair gate only to find she had emptied her toy boxes then curled up in bed a was fast asleep!  I really don't know what else to do, is this the curse of the children of 2007??! lol

x

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