The 'D' word...

My little boy is 15 months old and is still sucking his dummy, something that almost everyone feels a need to comment on from time to time usually its little old ladies with well meant advice on how i should get rid of it but i have had everything from 'don't you think he's a bit old now' to 'mothers who use dummies are just lazy' (the last comment not directly but said rather loudly in my vicinity)
Well it didn't bother me so much before but now he is taking his first steps and really growing up and the time has really come to take that dodie and hide it away once and for all but how on earth do i go about it?
I managed it once before when he was about 10months but then he had to go into hospital and it wasn't a pleasant experience so as a caring mother i thought he'd need the comfort and foolishly gave it back to him. Now i have to prise it from his toddler clutches and that results in hysterical sobbing which usually results with me giving it back to him because i feel so cruel to be inflicting that level of distress on him.

So...anyone have any ideas or is in the same situation?
It would be great to chat.xxx

When my brother and sister were little we told them about the dummy fairys that come for the dummys when you get too old and they give them to other little babies. And if your really good going without the dummy the fairys bring you a special surprise after a week.

It worked with my brother as he only used his at night anyway but my sister was harder as she had her's 24-7 and had loads of dummys hid away so we had to keep checking for them.  We did a few weeks where she just had it at night and went fromm there after few weeks she got the hint it was gone and only cried for it when ill or upset.

I think if you get him something else thats really nice that he wants it may help him give it up. I would just let him know when it will happen so u can both get ready to do it. Maybe if he has it in the day get him used to just having it at night 1st and then go from there so it is litltle steps for him.

Good Luck x

Hiya again just replied to your other post in the baby section.

I'm in a similar situation to you in that our lo's are the same age. I have managed to cut dummy usage down to her one nap through the day and at night for bedtime. I keep it upstairs and if she asks for her "num num" i tell her no its only for "bo-bo's" which seems to be working so far.

I am still trying to decide when the right time is to take it away all together because i think at this age it would mean a lot of controlled crying at night  because i think they are too little the now to understand any concept about dummy fairies etc.

I read on here someones suggestion about tying it to a helium balloon and letting it float away and i think maybe at this age they might understand that, my little one is obsessed with "birdies" so maybe it would work if i tied it to a balloon and told her it was away to the birds.

i think just now it is more of a case as to when i'm ready! LOL, i also have the difficulty in that my OH doesn't see the dummy as big an issue as me.

Think when i do try it though will make sure i have two weeks off work to really see it through properly, think i will definitely have more willpower if i'm not tired with work etc so maybe that does mean i'm lazy LOL!

I'm seem to be quite different! I actually introduced a dummy at about 20 months. Our daughter was a thumb sucker. To extreme poportions, she would suck it until it became blistered and infected!! She would suck it at sleep times or wonder around and suck it whe she was tired or hungry.

I introduced the dummy just for her sleeps, in an effort to give the thumb a break to recover. It lives in her nursery and never leaves the room. She is 25 months now and I'm still giving it to her. Should I be??

She generally looses at some point in the night and i find it on the floor in the morning, this doesn't seem to bother her or wake her up, She doesn't have when we are out and can fall asleep without it.

We have just moved her in to a new bedroom and a big bed (last night) so now's probably not the time to take the dummy off her aswell.

Would you say I should get her off the dummy sooner rather than later?

p

I always said-before I got pregnant that no child of mine would have a dummy............how wrong was I? My son has a dummy and has had it from a REALLY young age. He is only 7 months old and I am not contemplating taking it away from him for quite some time.

I say- so what if your little one is 15 months old and still has a dummy?!! If it offers him comfort and he is a happier child with it-ignore all the rude comments and just do what you think is right. You will know when the time is right to wean him off his dummy and when he old enough to accept and understand that he is a big boy now and doesn't need it he will accept it once it's gone.

Too many people in particular women-seem to think it is their god right to offer their opinion-especially when it hasn't been asked! You know you're doing the right thing so stop questioning your actions-it's not the end of the world if he keeps it for a few more months.

Good Luck. x

hey i think we all have great intentions of being "perfect mothers" before babie arrives but then reality hits and just being a good parent can be a struggle! i ended up giving my dd a dummy at 6 weeks after a hot summer and a very sucky breast fed baby. my boobs were red raw and i needed a break. and it worked and i kept my sanity. plus if i hadn't im not sure i could have kept up the breast feeding so i think my choice was the correct decision.

she is now almost 2 and i am fighting a battle but think i am begining to win now. she is now old enough to understand that she is to have "dum dum" in her bag (small pink bag she carries with her and has a hankie and toy and her dummy in it. she feels very grown up!) or her pocket until bed time. she occasionaly calls for it but usually when she is told off/scared/fallen over or tired. she just has it for bed time and most of the time it works. if she is very tried or she spends long periods of time sat down she takes it out of her pocket/bag and usese it. i then have a battle taking it off her and she tantrums, but generally she is good.

it is hard and you do get the odd looks (especially as she is rather tall for her age and looks 3 already) but i say let them look. i beleive i am a fab mother and i love mybaby. i try everything to make her happy and safe and she is a lovely, intelligent polite little girl and i am so proud of her. so thats all that matters.  shame motherhood is not easy!!

Natty that is the same reason my DS was given his dummy at 4 weeks...my poor boobs!
We might 'give it to the baby ducklings at the pond down the road'...
he loves the ducks so maybe that will work.

that sounds like a good idea.i might try that. but she would prob jump in after it!!!

i was happy with my decision of a dummy as i am glad she dosn't suck her thumb. you can take a dummy away but not a thumb!!!! and trust me i know what its like getting away from your thumb. i am 26 and still a thumb sucker!!! i even broke my arm and couldn't suck it for 8 weeks but went straight back to it!!! so i think its the lesser of 2 evils!!!

I was amazed that JT took to the dummy so late, and it was purley in an effort to give the thumb a break. After the last time her thumb went bad she started sucking her fingers instead and she seems to spread the wear and change fingers alot so I;m not bothered about that. She's doing it less and less each week any way so i think she is already growing out of it.

Well I guess we all have something, mine used to be chocolate...that use to relax and re-assure me!! Until I got pregnant again and now I can't stand the stuff. Now it's Crispy Duck that not so easy to get hold of when you need it!

I'll probably try taking the dummy away soon, if the move to a big bed keeps going well. She settled straight away last night and went through till 6.30am. She even turned over with her finger and didn't even ask me for the dummy to begin with.

I'll see, we are going on holiday week after next, so I'll not do it until we settle back home again. I think she'll be fine, she's quite resorceful. Changing from thumb to fingers proved that!

well ladies i am finally biting the bullet and the dummy is going for good (eek i'm terrified!!) My lo is 19 months

The last 2 -3 weeks my lo has been driving me mad asking for it so i thought it is definitely time for it to go. I thought i was doing really well only giving it to her at nap and bedtime but turns out the nursery has been giving into her and letting her have at other times! So that now when i say no it turns into a tantrum!

Last week i started giving her a teddy in bed with her and stopped attaching the dummy to her while she was sleeping. Over the weekend i have taken it to the next level and started removing the dummy once she has fallen asleep so she doesn't expect it to be there when she wakes and to try and teach her to get back to sleep without relying on the dummy when she does wake. The first night this resulted in her wakening 5 times through the night and really early in the morning and she was so mad that i wouldn't give it to her in the morning she climbed out of her cot i presume to try and find it. The second night i only heard her once through the night but again she woke quite early and couldn't settle back to sleep so as a result i have a very grumpy girl though the day but i expected it to be hell and so far its not been too terrible. This weekend it goes completely, i am going to tie them to balloons with my lo and get her to send them to the baby birds in the sky and that will be it no going back. I do have two weeks off work so that if this results in lots of sleepless nights i know i'm less likely to give in.

Wish me luck and i'll let you know if i'm still sane at the end of it all LOl!!!

Well we are now on the fifth night of no dummy and things are absolutely fine, it all went better than i had anticipated and i'm so proud of my lo she really seemed to grasp the fact that it's gone and not coming back. My plans were almost scuppered at the last minute though when the balloons would not float because the dummies were too heavy, but we just pretended to tie them and let the balloons go anyway, lOl!!

If i knew it would have been this easy i would have done it ages ago and i would definitley try the same method again with future lo's.