Just found out?
It's tempting to announce your pregnancy the moment you see the little blue line on the stick, and you may find it hard to keep your excitement to yourself.
Telling your partner when you find out is important. This is partly because the earlier he is involved, the longer he has to get used to the idea of being a dad and the more he can feel part of your pregnancy. It’s also good to have someone to share your secret with, someone to take care of you on mornings you’re feeling queasy, and should you suffer a miscarriage, he will be better able to understand what you’re going through.
After your first trimester, the risk of a miscarriage drops significantly, which is one of the reasons mums-to-be often wait until they reach trimester two to let people know. But there are many other factors to weigh up.
Remember, only you can decide when you're ready to tell. Here are some pointers to help you make up your mind when it’s right for you to make your pregnancy announcement:
Early announcing – before 12 weeks
Why to announce now
If you just can’t wait, there are some benefits to letting people know your condition early. A few extra weeks of being treated like a princess can’t hurt and it’s fun to share the early milestones with those closest to you. You’ll get lots of support and advice and can ask for recommendations about everything from morning sickness to midwives. If you do miscarry, people will be more aware of what you have gone through.
Why keep it to yourself
If you do miscarry, having already told people your news, dealing with people’s questions and explaining what happened can make your emotional recovery more difficult.
You may also find that although it’s great to have recommendations, everyone wants you to follow their advice, and differing opinions can be overwhelming. Plus, don’t forget even if you’re selective, word gets round, so make sure you tell the people who really matter to you first to avoid them hearing the news second hand.
Waiting to announce – after 12 weeks
Why wait to announce
If you are at a higher risk of miscarrying, or are worried it could happen again, you may feel telling everyone early is bad luck. It can help to have your 12-week scan in the bag (and ideally in its frame!) to make you feel ready to let the world know. This will also give you a bit more time to get used to the idea of being a mum (though you’ll probably need the whole nine months for that!) and work out how you feel about your pregnancy. Any decisions that need to be made won’t have to involve a network of family and friends all giving their opinions.
But it's not all about worrying! You may just prefer to spend this special time with your partner, keeping your secret from the rest of the world while you prepare for parenthood. Taking it easy in the first trimester is important and that can be tricky to do with a gaggle of excited friends and relatives eager for details.
Why not to wait
Keeping quiet for the first 12 weeks can be difficult. Not only are you excited, but you may also be going through early pregnancy symptoms including morning sickness, tiredness and aches and pains. And you won’t be able to trade on any sympathy if people don’t know yet.
If you do miscarry, it can be hard for you to discuss with people who never knew you were pregnant.
Even after your 12 week scan, you and your partner may not feel ready to share your news with anyone and there’s no harm in keeping your secret for a little longer. Use this time to decide who to tell first and how. Need some inspiration? We asked other parents-to-be how they did it.
Decided to keep quiet? Here's some tips for keeping your pregnancy secret for the first 12 weeks.
Ready to tell? Try some ThinkBaby parents' ways of announcing their pregnancy.
Find out more about your first trimester, how your body is changing and what you need to buy in the first 12 weeks.