When pregnancy turns 'high-risk'

Sarah's story
I vividly remember the pink form my doctor gave me to fill out at my first ever obstetrical appointment. Did I have a history of high-blood pressure? It asked me, clearly assessing my risk for developing problems in the course of the next nine months. Did I have diabetes, a history of miscarriage, was I single, did I smoke? I put large confident crosses next to all the boxes, feeling smug as I did so. I was young and healthy, with a good medical history. I wasn't a candidate for a high-risk pregnancy!

Three years on, I know that a high-risk pregnancy can happen to anyone. I'm a graduate of two of them. My oldest daughter was born after 11 weeks of bed rest, which was prescribed in an effort to raise my dangerously low amniotic fluid levels. Then, last year, my twins were delivered after 15 weeks of bed rest as I struggled to stave off first pre-term labour and then pre-eclampsia, which kept me in bed for a further six weeks after delivery.

Most of us imagine, the day we see those two pink lines on a plastic test stick, that we know how the story will go. The pregnancy will last 40 weeks, and at the end of it, we'll come home with a lusty seven-pounder and a proud smile. It can come as a terrible shock when the narrative changes. When my doctor prescribed bed rest, work and social life came to an abrupt halt. Days revolved around hospital tests. Thirty-five weeks suddenly seemed like a best-case scenario (“only a week or two in intensive care . . .”). And on the blackest days, I found myself wondering if I'd ever hold my children in my arms.

The pregnancy manuals I bought in the first flush of excitement failed me once I became high-risk. There was little about my condition, little about intensive care, little about the experiences of other parents faced with the challenges that confronted us now. Meanwhile my friends could offer support, but little information: their pregnancies had all progressed straightforwardly. For them, the anxieties of pregnancy were about weight-gain or the possibility of caesarean section, things that barely registered on my radar as I worried about cord compression, oxygen flow, and lung development.

So what do you do if your pregnancy turns high risk? How do you cope?
The internet is likely to become your new best friend, as it was mine - although beware! Remember that what you type into the search engine will radically affect what comes back. Now is not the time to type “serious risks - pre-eclampsia” into Google, because of course you'll stack the deck. When you're on your own day in, day out (as is likely to happen if your doctor prescribes strict or even partial bed rest), work to stay sane by keeping positive.
Don't terrify yourself by reading horror stories, and remember that not all sites are created equal. There's a lot of misinformation out there. People are likely to post their fears and worries, but less likely to post when things go well.
I found www.sidelines.org an extremely useful site for sound info on bed rest and high-risk pregnancy in general; it has a useful check-list of questions you can give your doctor for details on what you can and can't do now you've turned high-risk.

Personally I kept telly-watching to a minimum. Yes, I'm a sucker for daytime TV, but too much of it makes you feel like a blob. I made an exception for programmes about tricky pregnancies - it was strangely helpful to know more about how other women navigated this difficult time, and strangely comforting to know that I wasn't alone.
On the whole, though, I spent my time reading. Maybe it's just me (I'm a lecturer in English Literature in my “other life,” so to speak), but it did make me feel that I was achieving something as the days and weeks stretched on.

You're likely to be spending a lot of time on your own, so you also need to arrange as much human company and support as possible. Don't imagine you can do this all by yourself. My fantastic husband worked at home as much as he could - which not all partners can do, of course, but I definitely think this is a time to bin the pride!
Beg people to come and visit you if necessary. If you're on bed rest, explain to friends and family that it really isn't a picnic; they're likely to imagine you're having a wonderful time relaxing all day, painting your nails and wolfing chocolate cake. Let them know about the physical pain you're experiencing from extended periods in one position. It's worth knowing that women in high risk pregnancies have an increased likelihood of developing depression. Call in the favours; you need support.

Finally, remember that being assessed as 'high risk' doesn't mean something will go wrong. You just need a bit more monitoring. After months of worry, all three of my children made it to 37 weeks, and came out small but completely healthy. The story didn't go according to plan, but it had a very, very happy ending.

For more, visit Sarah's sites:
www.bedrestdiary.co.uk A fictional blog by Bed Rest's heroine on life on bed rest, plus more tips on surviving the experience.
and
www.sarahbilston.co.uk The author's site.