During pregnancy, you will be relentlessly badgered with the question: “Are you going to breastfeed?” And if you feel slightly unsure of the answer or even if you have decided firmly against the idea, health professionals will do their utmost to encourage you to do so. The thinking behind this is that breast is best - better for baby and better for mum. But often the lack of information available or the frequently bandied around “Breastfeeding is so much easier - think of all those bottles you won't have to sterilise!” can be misleading and results in around half of new mothers giving up in the first six weeks.
So let's get one thing straight. For many new mums there's nothing easy about breastfeeding in the early weeks. In truth, breastfeeding can be positively hard. And the fact this is conveniently hidden from the expectant mother only serves to make you feel inadequate if you find out it's not quite as simple as you were told.
So tell me the truth about breastfeeding…
The first thing to remember about breastfeeding is that you may well feel far more tired than if you are bottle-feeding. It can be incredibly draining physically - and this is often down to the fact that you are not eating enough. All breastfeeding mums should not feel shy about upping their calorie intake; the word 'diet' should not cross their lips. Forget the fact that although your bump has reduced dramatically you are probably still a bit of a porker (unless you happen to be one of the few irritating women who just snaps back into shape). This is the time to just chill out and eat - for another benefit of breastfeeding is that it will look after the excess weight. Think of your baby as a kind of cuddly liposuction machine - she will literally suck the fat out of your body. For some women this happens very quickly, others will not experience weight loss until they finish breastfeeding -but the good news is that sooner or later it will happen.
Learning the techniques of breastfeeding for both mother and newborn can also be a tricky business. I found holding the baby in the correct “latching on” position to be an art harder than macramé and one that needs mastering; following a caesarean birth, I found that I could only feed my baby lying down for the first few weeks. A great help are the 'banana cushions' (available in most baby departments) - they allow you to correctly position the baby and make for more comfortable breastfeeding.
Conflicting advice
You are also likely to be given heaps of conflicting advice from friends, family and health visitors. A friend's newborn baby was not gaining weight because she was advised to only feed the baby for ten minutes on one breast before swapping to the other. This was the thinking not so many years ago but since then it has been discovered that the baby should empty one breast first, in so doing drinking the thirst-quenching fore milk followed by the 'square meal' calorific hind milk. As my friend's baby had only been on the breast for ten minutes, he had not been getting any hind milk. When his mother let him finish with one breast before offering the other, he started to gain weight. The trick here is to remember to start the following feed with the fuller breast.
Cracked nipples
In the early weeks, you may also experience some pain from breastfeeding - bleeding and cracked nipples. This is usually because you and the baby are getting to grips with breastfeeding and when the baby makes the nipples sore, each further attempt at feeding will exacerbate the problem. This in turn can lead to an infection. Special nipple lotions can help as well as breast pads inserted into your bra to prevent rubbing. I was able to overcome the problem with my second child using silicon shields (teats) which you sterilise and place over the nipples until they heal. Although health professionals do not recommend them, I found them a godsend and would not have been able to continue breastfeeding without them.
Mastitis
Another possible bane of the breastfeeding mother's life is mastitis: an infection of the breast due to blocked ducts. In the early stages of this infection, when the breast appears red and swollen, it is a good idea to try to empty the breast. Somewhat strangely, the leaves of a Savoy cabbage, straight out of the fridge and placed on your breasts, will greatly ease the pain. However, if you start to experience flu-like symptoms, the infection has probably already taken hold and antibiotics will cure the problem quickly.
Breast pumps
If you decide to breastfeed, then it's worth investing in a breast pump. Try to turn a blind eye to feeling like a dairy cow and persistence will pay off. Both electric and hand pumps are available and when your breasts are so engorged they have become the size of planets, pumping can bring instant relief. Be warned, though, you have to give the hand pumps a chance - after four or five attempts you should be expressing a respectable amount of milk. This milk rapidly gains the status of manna from heaven as it means you can skip a breastfeed and someone else can give your baby a bottle. Breastfeeding often means you cannot leave your baby with anyone but expressing a feed can provide a welcome break.
Some women decide not to breastfeed because they are worried about what this will do to their breasts. It is true your breasts will never have the bounce or perkiness they had during your pre-pregnancy life, but this is as much due to the huge changes during pregnancy as it is due to breastfeeding. Tragically, chances are that the damage has already been done.
So if breastfeeding can be so darned difficult, why bother?
Well, apart from not having to warm up bottles in the middle of the night, the milk is ideally suited to your baby, at the correct temperature, and has your antibodies to protect him against illness and allergies. There is also less likelihood of a cot death, a lower risk of diabetes, less smelly nappies (these smell of apricots and almonds - honest), better mouth formation and better mental development. For you the benefits are also notable: a lower risk of pre-menopausal breast cancer and of ovarian cancer, stronger bones in later life and, crucially, a faster return to a pre-pregnancy figure.
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The main thing to remember is that nearly every woman has the ability to breastfeed. Get enough nutritious food and rest and you should have no trouble making plenty of milk. But, of course, that's easier said than done; having a healthy meal and a nap is not always possible. You will need more support from friends and family to breastfeed successfully - feeds can take up to an hour in the early weeks - and you will find yourself immobile for hours on end.
There is a huge pressure on women to breastfeed today, particularly in the first few months and ideally until the baby is one year old. But not all women have the support network or working arrangements to do so. If all women could stay at home for the first year of their child's life, breastfeeding rates would rise.
Women are often told that they can keep feeding their baby by expressing milk at work - all they need is a hand pump and a fridge! Although, some do manage to do this heroically, I would have spent my lunch hour locked in a tiny loo, tired and stressed - hardly ideal conditions for producing nutritious milk. If you find it impossible to breastfeed for whatever reason after giving it a good try, then switch to formula but do not let other people make you feel guilty.
In short, perseverance is the key: you have to be determined to overcome the obstacles - and, as we have seen, there can be stackloads of those. Hospitals now have breastfeeding counsellors and organisations like the National Childbirth Trust or La Leche League run workshops and very good helplines. If you do decide to keep going, you will find it a pleasurable and deeply bonding experience that gets easier by the day and that ultimately is better for baby and better for you.