In a world where steady nine-to-five working days are becoming fewer and further between, getting a happy work-life balance is an issue faced by most adults. And when you become a parent, suddenly the equation is yet harder to solve. As you try to prove your commitment and capabilities in all areas you may find you feel like you're less having-it-all than doing-it-all-the-time. You're torn in two (main) directions - distracted from whatever it is you're doing right now by the thoughts of all the other jobs you need to get done - and feel you're under performing at home, at work, or both. The net result is that everything suffers: your relationships at home, your work and you yourself. A good work-life balance can mean the difference between a drained, stressed and grumpy parent with little time, energy or patience for their family, and a parent who approaches their family responsibilities with enthusiasm and brings greater productivity to the workplace. So what can you do to set the balance right? Why not start with these ideas to get you back on track. Be prepared that you'll need to set aside a little time to take stock and lay the groundwork for changes.

  • Figure out your personal priorities - Take some time to think about what your top four or five priorities really are. Write them down in order of importance, one to five Try to set aside any expectations that others may have, whether that's your boss, your parents or your peers, and decide what is really important to you.

  • Think about what you want - Both your career and your family are a work in progress, to avoid feeling as though you're chasing your tail on both fronts, sit down and think about what your goals are in each area. Once you have a good idea of where you're trying to get to, you can better work out how to satisfy both areas.

  • Focus your energy on the important tasks - Note down what you do over the course of a week and mark those activities that you find most rewarding. See if you can ditch some of the jobs that you don't enjoy doing. At work that may mean delegating certain tasks, or talking to your manager about changing your role. At home it may mean forgoing ironing the bed linen or paying someone to help with the cleaning.

  • Increase your efficiency - You may notice that with some of your time at work you're faffing, rather than getting down to what needs to be done. Remember that it's not hours behind the desk that are important, but the quality and quantity of your work. If you have a favourite news site, blog or community, resist the impulse to check these out when you get to your desk - you are at least partly prevaricating. If you get a chunk of work done after which you allow yourself a break then you might well find you want to go and get a drink with the rest time, rather than check out a forum.

  • Be disciplined - Once you have decided how to divide up your time its crucial that you are disciplined and stick to it as far as possible, this means concentrating fully on your work during your work slots and focusing fully on your family when you are with them. In the days of mobiles, email, the blackberry and fax this is far harder than it used to be, and even more difficult if you work from home. Resist the temptation to just 'check your email' when you have family time, and save non-essential family discussions for out-of-office hours. This will make a difference to the quality of time you feel you give to each area and will help you feel less pulled in competing directions.

  • Learn how to say 'no' - If you're one of the many people who has a hard time saying 'no' this weakness can be a significant drain on your time. It can be particularly difficult to say no when you want to prove to people that you are committed and engaged, and so a trap that working mums are especially likely to fall into, whether it's saying no to your boss or the kindergarten teacher who'd like you to make an extra costume for the Christmas play. The thing about never saying no is that others start to expect you to take on the extra, and to rely on you to do things that others aren't prepared to do. In your effort to be accommodating you'll most likely end up being taken for granted. We're not suggesting that you say no to everything, but give yourself time to weigh up requests and see whether they fit well into your priorities list, if they don't, then you'll need to say. 'I'm sorry, I just don't have the time'.

    If it's your partner who can't say no then this can be just as much a drain on your mutual resources, as the person s/he's most likely to be able to say no to is you. Encourage your partner to work on this area, for both your sakes.

  • Nurture your support networks - Once of the problems for modern families is that they can be quite cut-off from supportive family networks, which are both a lot smaller than they used to be, and more disperse. But a support network is important to helping you balance work and family well. You need to put time into your friendships and family relationships both for your general well-being and so that you have people around who can come and help you when you need it. If you have a key work period or meeting coming up then consider sounding out back-up childcare in case your childminder falls ill: Apart from family it makes sense to have a couple of people who your children are happy to have babysit them.

  • Make time for yourself - 'Me time' is important to recharge your batteries, keep you healthy and happy and so enable you to give your best in all areas of your life. Set aside regular time for activities that you find relaxing, stimulating or just plain fun. There are some ideas for getting 'me time' here that are aimed at new mums, but are just as relevant to old-hands.

  • Plan with your partner - Achieving a good work-life balance is a job for two people if you're in a relationship. You need to work out what will be most rewarding for you both, while leaving you financially secure as a couple. Very often one person in a couple takes on most of the burden of looking after family and home, the job that we all know is never done. Try sitting down together, each with your list of priorities, and working out how you can divide up your joint time to give each other chance to meet their most important needs on a weekly basis and see how you can support each other in reaching your goals. There may be areas where you can double-up: he gets some one-one-one time with the children while you get some time to yourself to go running or you get a regular baby sitter and go out for a meal together to relax and catch up.