Mobility / physical development
A three year old can get about quite skillfully. She can walk forwards and backwards with ease, run quickly (and stop far more quickly than she could a year ago), jump, kick, climb, pedal a tricycle, swing on a swing and stand on one leg for a few seconds. If she can't yet hop then this is a skill that she is likely to develop soon, along with standing on her tip-toes.
Her fine motor skills have also improved greatly, and as well as coping well with a fork and spoon, she's probably getting to grips with zips, poppers and buttons. As a result she's likely getting quite good at dressing and undressing herself, although she still needs some help and will get even better over this next year.
By the age of three most children can draw a circle and straight lines, and between the ages of three and four toddlers usually start to draw not just scribbles, but representations of objects that are part of their world - maybe a very basic house, a swing, or even people. When you ask a child of this age to draw a man or woman it's common for the child to draw a blob with stick legs and/or arms, leaving out the body; some children may fill in eyes, nose or mouth detail. Children who do this then often later put feet on the end of the legs, and perhaps hair or facial hair on the head, while they still have yet to draw a figure with a body. Some children between three and four will start drawing figures with bodies, usually using an assortment of blobs and lines. There's a wide range in terms of what detail they may include, and some children may already be adding specific details to show they are drawing a particular person.
Communication
Your increasingly chatty three year old is gradually incorporating more and more concepts into her understanding and spoken communication. At the start of the year her sentences are still quite short, usually up to five or six words, but these sentences are now usually complete and she'll be able to express herself increasingly clearly: About three-quarters of what she says is now comprehensible and by the end of this year she'll be more or less fully comprehensible. She knows her own age and may proudly show you how old she is by holding up the right number of fingers: She can probably count to at least ten by now and can repeat a series of up to three numbers.
It's quite common for children this age to stumble over some words and stutter, which doesn't at all mean that they will develop an actual stutter. If this happens it's helpful to clearly demonstrate that you're actively listening to your child and are interested in what she is saying, and don't want to rush her.
If she hasn't already started asking apparently ceaseless 'why?' questions, then she most probably will at some point this year. Asking 'why' can become reflexive and you may notice that she's doesn't always pay full attention to the answers, this is because the why question is not just a search for an answer, but often more a ploy to keep the conversation between you both going and make sure that your attention is focused on her. Over time she'll add who, when and where to this litany of question marks. Try to be patient and, rather than brushing off the sixth query, it may help to deflect the question with a simple question of your own, maybe ask her what she thinks the answer is. Remember that questions are one of the ways in which your child learns and your attitude towards answering her will probably colour her attitude to learning.
Time is one area where she'll be developing in leaps and bounds this year, where as before she may have understood the concept of later, or tomorrow, she's now getting to grips with more concepts of the past and present. During this year she'll be able to chat happily in short sentences about what happened yesterday or even a few days ago and will start to show excitement about events that lie in the future.
Around this age it's quite a good idea to make sure your child knows her full name, and by around half-way through the year she should be able to manage the rudiments of an address - important information if she should, heaven forbid, ever become lost.
Emotional development
By the age of three your toddler will have developed a strong sense of being an individual and is becoming more able to express her own feelings as well as to pick up and understand those of the people around her. Her developing emotional, communicational and physical abilities all help to boost her self-esteem and confidence, with a positive knock-on effect on the way she behaves: She spends a great deal of time observing adults, especially her parents of course, and is usually keen to imitate and please - particularly welcome news for those parents who have suffered greatly through tantrums and willfulness over the past year or so.
Not all three-year-olds will leave temper tantrums behind however, and even the most cooperative of children may have phases where they become more awkward and irritable. It's quite common for toddlers to go through a willful and difficult phase at around three and a half, perhaps because her ongoing quest for independence once again bumps up against the limits of her capabilities.
At play
By the time your toddler is three she'll be interested in interactive play with other children and she may even now have particular friends who she likes to spend time with. Interactive play requires children to cooperate with each other, and this is a skill she'll be working on over the coming year. If she hasn't yet got a handle on the notion of sharing then be patient, it take time. As she spends more time socially with other children she'll soon realise that if she wants to play with another child's toys she'll have more of a chance if she shares what is hers with them.
Most children love to hear and tell short stories and rhymes and your toddler may have special favourites that she wants to hear over and over. If she demands a story so often that she starts to memorise it then it may be a bit wearing, but be glad, this will make the later transition to reading so much easier.
Pretend play takes on a more important role throughout this year, and becomes more sophisticated. While a two year old may pretend to feed his teddy, a three-to-four-year-old may set up a toy's tea party replete with 'cakes' and conversation. Flights of fancy are frequent and usually enjoyable for both of you, but at this stage your toddler is likely to have difficulty separating fantasy and reality quite often, so it's not uncommon for fears about monsters in cupboards or wicked witches to set in. It's important that you monitor closely what your child is exposed to on the television, as she is easily frightened at this age, even by something that seems very mild to you.
If your toddler does develop a fear or anxiety of some kind it's better not to dismiss her emotions as 'being silly' or laughable. Instead offer comfort and calm reassurance.
By the age of three most toddlers are happily sorting objects by colour as well as by size, shape and texture. Play dough is a great play item for three-year-olds, and over the course of this year she'll probably start to do more with it than simple squeeze, roll and bash it about.
What you can do
As your child continues to learn and become independent it's still important that you give her plenty of opportunity to practice the skills she's intent on acquiring. This can make everyday jobs, such as getting dressed or getting ready to go outside, take far longer, and she'll probably still get frustrated from time to time, so you'll need to factor in extra time where you can and find deep reserves of patience. You might find it helps you both if you give our toddler chance to practice with early learning toys such as a book, doll or wall hanging with poppers, velcro, zips, buttons and laces.
You can foster your child's sense of independence by allowing her to make choices for herself. It's better not to overwhelm her with choice, but a simple choice between two options is enough to give her a sense of control. Try letting her choose between two dishes to eat, two different outfits, two different activities or deciding which of two tasks wants to do first. You can make it easier for your toddler to cooperate with you if you keep your requests short and simple. Rather than asking her to tidy her room, ask her instead to tidy away her books, and then to put away the train set, and so on.
You can help your toddler feel more secure and confident by making her life more predictable. Routine is an obvious way in which to do this, another way is to set appropriate limits that you expect her to follow in terms of behaviour, eating patterns and so on, make the rules clear and stick to them. If your child does overstep the line, then it's important to respond by telling her what will happen if she repeats the behaviour. For example, you'll go straight home, you'll take that toy away from her etc. Repeated warnings won't do anything except encourage her to think that she can get away with more of the same, once you've settled on a consequence you need to stick to it.
As your toddler develops her sense of self and her empathy for others, you can encourage her to consider other people's feelings by talking about them, such as "Susan's feeling sad today", or "Granddad's feeling tired so we need to be quiet now". For the time being your toddler will still see the world as revolving around herself, but with your help she can grow to understand that she isn't more important than other people.
Encourage your child's creativity with regular creative play sessions. These can be fun for you as well, but you also need to give your toddler time and opportunity to be creative independently.
Just as at every other stage of her development you can foster your child's self-esteem and speech most of all by making time for her, without smothering her, listening to what she has to say, and asking her questions to gently coax out more detail from her. For example, if she tells you that she saw a pond on her walk with granny ask her if it was big, and whether there were ducks or fish in it, and what colours they were. And, of course, enjoy your time together - it will be over all too soon as she moves into the orbit of her school career. Yikes!
NB: All toddlers develop at their own pace and some will reach developmental landmarks more quickly than othiss. This time line is meant only as an approximate guide for parents. Premature babies will develop more slowly than full-term babies and can be expected to develop in line with their age calculated from their due date. If you are worried about your child's health or progress consult your doctor.
Newborn |
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12
| 13 | 14 | 15
| 16
| 17
| 18
| 19
| 20
| 21
| 22
| 24
| 2 - 3 years
| 3 - 4 years
