My husband spent the first two weeks at home with me and our new baby, which was great, but now he’s gone back to work I’m finding things exhausting on my own. What can I do?
Catherine, Cardiff
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Dr Carol Cooper
Family GP and Pregnancy, Baby & You's medical editor
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Ask the family GP
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Carol says…
First, don’t feel bad – most new mums are exhausted. You’re not going to be able to do all the things you did before the baby arrived, so accept this instead of being hard on yourself. Cut out all non-essential chores (ironing and the like can wait) and make things easier for yourself, for instance by keeping baby changing things downstairs as well as upstairs. Also enlist any help you can. If a neighbour says, ‘Anything I can do?’ be ready with a list like shopping, laundry and so on, and when visitors pop in, make sure they make tea or coffee for you, not the other way round.
Spend time with your baby and, when she naps, put your feet up too instead of rushing around. Make sure you eat well, as a balanced diet (and no missed meals) will give you the energy you need. Ask your GP if you could be anaemic – you might need a blood test to rule this out.
Make sure you get dressed every day no matter how little you’ve slept. Padding around in a dressing gown can be comfy, but it can also give your days an unreal, even nightmarish, quality. Go out somewhere every day with your baby. It doesn’t have to be an ambitious outing. Plan for the day when you are able to leave your baby with a trusted and experienced sitter (perhaps family or friend) to spend an evening with your husband. You’ll soon find life much easier, even if it’s different from before.
If things don’t improve soon, see your doctor as you could be sliding into post-natal depression. This affects at least one mum in 10 and the symptoms can be subtle at first, so they’re mistaken for the usual after-effects of having a baby.
